Don’t Save Me by HAIM

Since when are Baristas the healthy equivalent to Bartenders?  Today, Baristas and their Coffee Houses sure are embracing their role, more authentically than ever.  I’m incredibly grateful to be a regular customer and thus, a mere byproduct of our generation’s Coffee House Authenticity.

It’s a great time to be single and free Coast to Coast as I dive deeper into my soul and read into the vibes and energies of such places.  Once an avid pub-crawler – dressed in silly costumes from Saint Paddy’s Day to, WELP, might as well have been Flag Day, I have become loyal to the coffee bar atmosphere for many reasons.

The coffee bar atmosphere seems to be another learning ground to patent who you are and ultimately discover how the YOU will bring grace and love to others.

Within this learning ground, there’s a creative energy present that almost gives you more of a rush than the smell of coffee beans.  It appears that entering a coffee shop has an instant effect on you, much like the adrenaline rush you get when you’re about to put a dollar down to shoot pool in a bar.  And yes, both places cultivate a similar energy brought on by music, people, and drinks.  Even though both places can be taken to the extreme, as  some cannot simply sip on a smooth pour over made with care much the same way some cannot sit in a bar and enjoy one, nice, cold Porter – overall, if used correctly, both places can allow for genuine interaction amongst strangers, guided by the energy of all who work there and the music flowing throughout.

Now, to get into the depths of a coffee house; for starters, there is a bar to sit at in most hip, coffee joints.  There is the feeling of being a local.  Or if you’re a visitor, the Baristas will memorize your favorite drink for the time being, like at an all-inclusive resort.  Finally, the music volume tends to range from a little above Barnes N’ Noble, to not blasting – as opposed to an actual bar with an iTunes Jukebox where, let’s face it, someone requested T-Swift or Journey way too many times.

Speaking of music, this might be the best part aside from the hip camaraderie and social-networking that goes on in these hipster, eco-friendly, sober bars.  The music is always a reflection of the hub of current location.  Some of Los Angeles’ best coffee shop vibes leaned toward the latest electro-indie pop to the most underground remixes of Marley’s hidden tracks or rare 90’s Hip-Hop, unreleased hits.  LA would plant a little Red Hot Chili Peppers every now and then to remind you of its roots and then ease into some reggae-alternative flavor like Slightly Stoopid from San Diego or a trendy melodic-pop duo such as Foster the People and Passion Pit back-to-back, getting you ready to skate home.

Here in D.C., they have proven to encompass a broader selection of music that keeps the customers happy, but still quite selective – to infuse a sort of intellectual city crossed with artsy and vintage originality.  You go to specific coffee shops here like you would only go to Whole Foods or Trader Joe’s.  One headphone out and one headphone in, you tend to mix your own playlist with their mix of references back to Zeppelin and Neil Young.  Then, they infuse the place with some major melodies.  That’s right, no words.  Instrumentals of all kinds from what I assume to be a well-crafted Pandora station.  Sometimes it’s just a repetitive mix of pedals and digital-pop with occasional guitar strumming (possibly inspired by Daft Punk), when they round it back to something familiar like Miike Snow’s “Animal” or Edward Sharpe’s “Home”, where you appreciate lyrics once again and feel like you’re right back on Abbott Kinney.

All the while, you are acclimating to the spot that you chose to sit in, once you received your Rwanda Karenge pour over from the bar.

Unbeknownst to others, this moment, in which you choose your seat for focusing and doing work, happens to be the beginning of the weeding out process of all Wi-Fi, trending coffee spots – some will choose to stay until closing and some are just parking it for the taste.  Just like going to a local bar by yourself to play pool or to catch part of Monday Night Football, only certain types truly enjoy being on their own in such a place.  This solo, public-thriving identity is really defined as wanting to be surrounded by people like ourselves, but nonetheless, strangers to one another.

All the while, we are subconsciously open to discovering how places like these tick.  We begin to wonder what is secretly being given back to us, other than their flavorful coffee and carefully designed work space.  It turns out, places like these contain a truth that we’ve been seeking far and wide.  The truth held within such a place says:

Locales that define us attract an intimate group of people whom we are capable of having a deeper connection with, simply upon initial conversation.

The coffee bar then becomes a safe place to truly connect with the world and witness yourself in it, like you’ve just hit play on a secret security recording of the shop.  There is a process for how to get acclimated in such a setting and how to be ready to enter a world of pure authenticity.  First, we must deal with our anxieties.  You might walk through the door stressed out about something, still tainted from the world outside.  This must dissipate before you can fully embrace the coffee shop in its entirety.

Then, there is the issue of whether or not you are sitting right smack in the middle of the place, off to the side, back to the crowd, at the bar, or looking out the window.  Your position in the room could limit your ability to take the authentic plunge into interacting with whomever you wish.  It’s up to you where you choose to make your mark – the secret is, you can always get up and move, especially when it comes to needing outlet access.  And you can always ease your way into sitting in spots that you used to avoid.  Much like the process of choosing your spot on the sand or deciding where to stand in the lineup to play pool against all the big sharks in the neighborhood, you are ready to fully embrace the coffee shop.

Part of what is interesting about a coffee shop is that, yes, people are paying attention to you whether you want the attention or not.  You have the choice to create your own space and energy, like painting how you want to come off to the world or like surrendering to a place so that it can define you!  As you let the music take you over while you read, write, or study, you begin to see yourself the way the world sees you.  When I used to walk into a bar by myself and approach the pool table, it was a similar experience.  I immediately would get nervous as I knew the lineup in front of me was much more experienced than I.  Just looking down at how each dollar was folded or quarter was positioned, I knew I was going to have to create my own identity as a future Shark.  In the beginning, I forced myself to play one-on-one, lose games and be humiliated as I had to lose by 6 or 4 balls in front of the pool scene.  After a while, as I showed up more and more to play, a respect was built around the table.  They knew my face and they knew I wanted to improve.  The Sharks of Venice took me under their wing and began to show me a few tricks, but more importantly they began to share their lives with me.

I soon realized, my skills in shooting pool were less novice than my skills in approaching the pool table in the first place.

I was not going in there with the intention to get to know the people in the room; I was going in there to get better at a sport I enjoyed and to be by myself in the world amongst strangers.  It wasn’t until I made a genuine effort to get to know each person around the table, did I begin to develop true Shark attributes.  I think of how I became friends with people from all walks of life, in the Shark world.  Since pool is only a dollar, I met many who were living on the margins.  They confided in me about their pasts and how they looked at life differently now.  I met young founders of start-ups struggling with addictions and struggling to let go of the superficial lifestyle that Los Angeles often tempts us with.  I met screen writers, sailors, and old couples who just lived a simple life and wanted to share their wisdom around the table.  We all bonded through the sharing of our stories and surrendering to the present.  I think of these memories every time I choose my place in a coffee shop.  Now, when I walk into my favorite local spots, I scan the room for a space that screams, “Diane!”, with the same intentions of how I learned to approach the pool table.  Then, I order my drink and graciously head over to where I will plant myself for the next few hours, much like how I used to order my drink at the bar and lay down my dollar folded into fourths, defining my spot with all that I am.

Through this process of learning how to feel absolutely comfortable with the world around me and with myself, the energy created in my work space became an “Embraces Life” vibe.  Everyone gives off a different vibe according to their own experiences and this happens to be mine.  I am able to see this as I look down on myself interacting in coffee shops and through the affirmations of people who have become a part of my life from the coffee shop itself.

When people see me or sit near me, they can tell that I am working on a project of which I am very excited about or focused on.  They can also tell that I am not too focused to where I would ignore them or not feel their presence.  They get the sense that I am a safe place for me and for others.  They admire my slight-smile work ethic, occasional bobbing to music as I work diligently, to the point where they start to think, “Is it possible to feel that at ease while working?”  And the answer is YES.  Part of our purpose here, I believe, is to share this consistency of authenticity with the world no matter where we are – in a bar, in the grocery store, in the library, at work, running in the neighborhood, having dinner, and the list goes on.  People need to know that it actually exists, and that they can join the party.  Simply being in a coffee shop or playing pool by ourselves at the bar shares this notion with the world.  People feel it, see it, understand it, learn from it, and then go home, reflect, and come back the next day trying to implement it.  Someone once was my example of consciously, authentic living and now after years of embracing this lifestyle, I realize it is important to pass the secrets along.

In terms of acclimating and owning who you are while on display, we coffee shop kiddos and solo bar-hoppers are open to genuine conversation much like the Sharks of Venice were, even when I couldn’t see it.  It’s in the occasional eye contact that is given to the person walking in, or the lad who just took a seat at the adjacent table; it’s in the quick head nod to the Barista thanking him silently for everything he’s provided for the past 90 minutes.  It’s in the subtle smile towards the girl who is sitting alone and keeps trying to bring up everything and anything to make a new friend.  With that, I have tried to befriend every type of person I could possibly think would walk into a coffee house.

My favorite “new friends” are the brainstormers – the two guys or gals that spitball ideas back and forth in a hype-hype manner with endless creativity for their current start-up or business idea.  Next, I welcome anyone new, because someone once pulled me out of the crowd on my first day and showed me the way as well.  Finally, anyone who is leaning back and taking a break from working, is observing and just taking it all in – they are the cream of the crop!  I find that we are much in the same; we love to work and are passionate about whatever we are doing, but we never forget where. we. are.  The same way you could be swimming in the ocean, diving under each wave, and then at some point you come up for air and just float – soaking up every ounce of sun, almost becoming one of the seals, watching the animals crawling beneath you on the ocean floor, and savoring the calm waters before the next wave begins to build.

Some of my best conversations and realizations have occurred in a coffee bar.

To top off this whole experience, we can take home every ounce of the creativity that we develop in the midst of a coffee house.  Some of my best ideas have sprung up somewhere in between taking it all in and a bite of a ham and cheese croissant.  In the end, we leave this experience having been utterly affected by the authenticity of such a place.  We leave with an even brighter perspective on this world.  One of appreciating every type of person, who metaphorically walks in the door.  One of seeing the world as one, giant classroom.  One of being present in every moment, where eye contact is a must and knowing a stranger’s name means more than any surface level conversation we could have with someone we already know.

I leave the coffee shop understanding that the “local for life” I have become doesn’t necessarily mean I have to go to the same place every time; but rather, it is the fact that I can create that local energy for and with others.

Making someone else feel that comfortable, minus ALL the anxiety, as if we have just handed them the cup of coffee we knew they already preferred and put on their favorite song to show them that they can be “at home” when they talk to us, is the key to truly connecting with others.  It’s based on more than kindness, it’s more than being genuine – it’s an effortless knowing, coming from a very real place that we all have inside of us.  There are many of us out there who have found this sweet spot of interacting; it’s up to US ALL though, to spark it whether we are in the coffee bar or not – a local wherever we go.

Maybe someone once did this for me?  Maybe this is what coffee shops and playing pool allowed me to discover?  Maybe this is what I find when I hang out with the homeless gents and women as we make eye contact, shake each other’s hand, and get each other’s name, so that we can be in each other’s life somehow?

There is an authenticity in actively taking part in the deeper vibe of this world as if we are actually a part of one classroom.

… All in a 2-hour snow delay that turned into a day off from school – I found myself heading to my neighborhood coffee house, Vigilante, my home away from home.

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“Don’t Save Me”

by:  HAIM

Never thought that I would grow so old of seeing the gold
Still I never want it to go
I would hold it up to my cold heart
Feel the way it used to start up

Take me back, ta-ta-take me back to the way that I was before
Hungry for what was to come
Now I’m longing for the way I was

You say you will, say you will save me
You say you will, say you will save me
You say you will, say you will save me
You say you will, say you will! Ah oh!

Take me back
Give it up, give it up to me
Cause I cant go on if your love isn’t strong
See I want it all
Give me, give me all your love
But if you can’t hold on

Then baby, baby don’t save me now, no
If your love isn’t strong
Baby! Don’t save me now, no, no

All my life I wasn’t trying to get on a high way
I was wondering which way to go
Spending all of my time
Leaving all the weight behind yeah
Take me back, ta-ta-take me back to the song, how’d it used to go? Oh?
Screaming for what was to come,
Now I’m dreaming ’bout the way I was

You say you will, say you will save me
You say you will, say you will save me
You say you will, say you will save me
You say you will, say you will! Ah, oh!

Take me back
Give it, up give it up to me
Cause I cant go on if your love isn’t strong
See I want it all
Give me, give me all your love
But if you can’t hold on,

Then baby, baby don’t save me now, no
Baby don’t save me now, no, no

And if I had to beg for your love
Tell me, tell me
Would it ever be enough?
Te-te-tell me
And if I had to beg for your love
Tell me, tell me
Would it ever be enough?

So baby, don’t save me
No Baby, don’t save me
Baby, don’t save me now, no, no
Baby, don’t save me now, no, no
Baby, don’t save me now no, no
Baby, don’t save me now no, no, no
Don’t save me
Don’t save me