TEAM by Lorde

The classroom is a magical land where the minds and hearts of the kids can change and evolve right before your eyes.  I used to consider the classroom, one world, and the world outside the classroom, another world.  However, after analyzing the different types of classes (groups of kids) that I’ve had over the years, I can finally see that the world outside isn’t too far away from the magic in the classroom – in fact they are one.  And shame on me for thinking that there was no hope for the world outside the utopia that I have created time and time again for children.

As the classes cycle through, the teachers already have a heads up as to “what kind” of class they will receive the following year.  Facts, not rumors, get passed from Kindergarten and up about the behaviors and abilities of a particular class.  When you first hear the news, you want to think that the class will be different with you, but that is never the case.   The class will always be who they are, the way a person is who he or she is.  Our school is Kindergarten through Fifth Grade with two teachers in each grade level.  Being that there are two classes per grade level, they are somewhat shuffled throughout the years.  However, both classes in the grade level end up being the “same kind” of class.  They carry on a reputation that truly defines them as a group.

The “what kind” and “same kind” have been analyzed and hashed out at Lunch in the Faculty Room for years.   How does an entire Grade Level maintain such a reputation?  It starts with how we build the classes for the next year.  At the end of each year, we know our kids as if they are truly our kids.  We know the strengths, weaknesses, behavior problems, counseling issues, best friends, enemies, and so on about each child.  We then reflect on what kind of teacher they will be able to express their highest potential with.  I do not say “reach” their highest potential for a very specific reason.  Reach indicates that the person developed a new part of him or herself that was never there before; in contrast, we all have these special gifts and talents in us from the get-go.  A teacher does not miraculously instill a new part in a child, but rather creates an environment where the child can practice his or her gifts and talents and make mistakes.  The little learning experiences are encouraged and positively reinforced until a child recognizes in him or herself what she is made of.  They can then choose to follow those paths more often in all of their studies and continue to express themselves in such a way that lead to stronger strengths and passions.  Children, like adults, need to feel comfortable in their surroundings before opening up.  Therefore, it helps to have a connection with their teacher in order to feel confident and express creative abilities that he or she normally would not reveal.  If they feel afraid, limited, or doubtful for some reason, the student will put up a wall on their own abilities in the classroom.  Yes, they will still give correct answers and try, but they will not express the next level of who they are because their guard is up.

All people and students need to feel completely at one with themselves in order to express who they really are and function at their highest potential.

We also need to put our pride aside when we need help, which is another factor that could hinder a child from choosing to improve in the classroom.  Therefore, when children are placed with a teacher that may have a similar personality, or we know that the teacher has a connection with that student already, we shift them accordingly.  This is just an extra strategy used to cultivate an even more customized experience and education for the kids.  After reorganizing the kids for the following year, we trust that they have been placed with a teacher who will not just deliver information, but connect with who they are to strengthen their strengths, guide the child on how to follow and apply their strengths, minimize the weaknesses, reflect on the weaknesses, and ultimately instill confidence (faith) in a child no matter the case.

After all this thought and reflecting in order to reorganize the classes, the grade level still comes out with the same type of personality.  We are always baffled when they are still the “needy” class…the “highly distracted” class…the “ones who defend wrong answers” or “in denial” class…the “super chatty but sweet” class…the “unmotivated class” (that’s a tough one to break)… the “gifted and high” class…the “loud and fidgety” class…and every once in a while, the “angelic” class.   We have determined that usually the strongest or most overbearing personalities in the class have the ability to set the tone for the type of class you will have.  I would always say, “What’s with the year of the rat?  Are they all like this out there?”  We crack up at lunch and share stories every single day about who did what and how we can’t believe so-and-so tried to pull that with us.

It’s the only way to stay focused on the fact that we must make sure every child is accessing who they are in the classroom, despite the million challenges we face.  Even the “angelic” classes have their issues too.  They don’t fool us.  You may be paying attention and listening, but is anything sinking in?  If these reputations of the classes are based on the strongest personalities expressed in the classroom, then a whole class is just like a whole person.  We then, work on the class, similarly to how a person would work on themselves.  We tear down their guards when they put one up, we teach them to forgive and move passed issues, we teach them how to deal with friends and enemies, we show them how to pat themselves on their backs for a job well done…but we do it all so that they can learn and stay motivated!  Just like adults, if we are distracted by all the million other things in life, it is hard to do our job or be who we are supposed to be.  SO every morning, from the moment we shake our students’ hands, we start taking away the distractions so that they can focus and achieve academic goals.  Every year I am satisfied with them when they leave my class, my little utopia.  Though some years are harder than others, I walk away knowing that I adopted 26 kids.  They became who they were supposed to be, and now they will have that piece of them embedded in their minds and hearts forever.  They will use the year of Ms. Contreras when they need to and it will keep them on the motivated track of life, so that they pursue who they are called to be.

With all this fascinating teacher talk, how does this connect to the world we live in?  How can I have this type of faith in people, despite what I think about them?  My 26 kids were strangers to me, so how can I apply this to the rest of the “strangers” in my life?  When I first became a teacher, I had a passion for helping others.  I knew since I was six that I had an ability to show people how to believe in themselves.  I had taught my friend, two years older than I, to ride a bike in a week.  Later, I taught this same girl how to read because she would come home crying after school, embarrassed and giving up on friends.  I was six, and I saw how much better her life was because of some one-on-one attention.  After that, my heart was sold on the power of connecting with others in this way.  I drew myself teaching in a classroom for a school auction and I remember not taking my eyes off myself in front of a class with a chalkboard.  It wasn’t the chalk that did it, it was the connection that I had with this friend of mine.  Not to mention, I can be my crazy self when teaching – that’s the hook!

If I’ve already got this presence, then I need to use it even outside the classroom.  I get to witness how a person lights up and sees what I see in them.  It makes me incredibly happy to witness this miracle.  So now let’s see that in my friends and family, in volunteering, and when I’m out socializing it up.  It is a job of love and miracles and being real, so let’s see it in the people that are in my life right now.  Why only reserve miracles for the classroom?

People only change and improve when they are in a safe environment that they can trust.

We open up and speak from our true source when we feel that we can.  This causes a surge of inspiration, to be more of ourselves, and to feed that part of us.  In a way, we are challenged to meet other people on their level of genuine nature and if we continue to surround ourselves with this level of genuine nature, we become more genuine (1 + 1 = 2 right?).  BUT the harder math problem is that we must not be afraid to take this new version of ourselves to the next level, which means we cannot only hang with the genuine people forever.  We must now challenge ourselves to help others find their level of genuine nature.  The cycle repeats, but now you are on the other end.  You are the one initiating the safe environment, being the teacher and guiding others to meet you at your level of genuine nature.  All of this can be completed in one short conversation around a pool table in a bar.  It’s as simple as that.  This safe environment can now be created anywhere with anyone and at anytime because it’s coming from within, from you are.  Once you have one experience like this, you cannot go back to having meaningless conversations with people.  You will always find a chance to see what the other person is made of or if they are open to being REAL with you for a moment.  I can see that the classroom has taught me more about my own life.  I walk away changed forever each day.  Imagine if we had that feeling every time we walked away from each other!

How do we change ourselves so that others can be themselves, no matter the situation?

In order to do this, our pride and judgment needs to be erased, the way a teacher does not judge her students or feel better than them.  The teacher is not in competition with the kids; they are looking to her to lead the way.  However, we do not interact in this way with adults because of our pride, or we expect that the adult “should know better already.”  We really are expecting a lot from this world aren’t we?  We do not think that our best friend has anything to teach us.  We do not think that the random guy we met at the bar is going to make us a better person.  If this is the case (which it is), then how do you expect to grow?  Only from certain people and certain situations, the way you want it to happen?  We all know that we are not in control, as much as we want to be in control.  We are all kids in a classroom for that matter.  Since this is now the accepted case, there is no point in being at war with each other. There is no point in trying to out do the other or be better in some way.  Even when we think we are helping or want to help others, we need to remember that we are not in control.  We come off too proud or condescending, though good intentions are at heart.  The good intentions aren’t enough though; you have to believe and show that you need someone to talk to you like that too sometimes.  The pride and judgement JUST HAS TO GO.  The mind has to start to see everyone and everything as a learning experience – no matter the case (just like the students).  Others will be able to sense when you’ve let go of these two distractions and it will then be a safe environment to have genuine conversations, whether the person in the conversation is your friend, a random at a bar, a guy you like, a sibling who upsets you, a coworker, or a parent who you seek approval from.

After each year of teaching, I returned to why I became a teacher and watched to see if it still remained the same.  However, after the last two years of teaching, I noticed a change in my mindset.  My old mindset used to look like a Fractional View of looking at my life.  If I could break down my life into fractions of how I have usually connected with others, I would say that half of my life was connecting with children (teaching), one fourth was connecting with others (friends, family, adults), and one fourth was for me (spiritual alone time).  The last two years, I decided to adjust the fractions to half for/with children and half for me.  I wanted to do more for me and then take what I learned and apply it to the relationships in my life – so for me and for others became one half instead of separate fourths.  But still, the other half was for/with children.  Finally this year, I can say that I no longer have fractions.

The WHOLE rectangle of Life and connecting with others is now just for and with me – no more fractions, just one whole piece dedicated to me…but WHY?

The Fractional Life beheld a mindset in which life is looked at as compartmentalized.  Compartmentalized in the sense that some parts are more worthy than others, or some parts receive more of myself than others.  When this happens we tend to exhibit certain energies and beliefs in some of the parts of our lives more than others.  The Whole Life perceives every part of life as an overlapping and continuous learning experience that must not be separated by energies and beliefs.  The fact is that everything that we do, is who we are and every time we inspire others we are inspiring ourselves.  Therefore, it does not make sense to live life with a fractional life mindset.  Anything that I do in the classroom must be carried out into the world and to everything else that I am involved in.  The same goes for anyone I meet and any outside interaction that I have with people.  It will all ultimately make me a better teacher in the literal classroom.

For my own reasons and trials, I lost faith in adults and people outside of my classroom and therefore started to think that my job was more about creating a better generation than the last.  But that meant that I wasn’t dealing with the present – the world I live in now.  I had this mindset that I was going to “make a difference in the world” by contributing to the new wave of people coming in.  One, it’s great to have ambitions about the future, but what about the world right now?  Two, there is a huge flaw in the mindset about “making a difference in the world.”  This phrase was built into our society to create a feeling of matter or to create a reason for living.  However, this phrase creates a mindset where we think we are trying to fix different parts of the world, so that when it all mixes together, the parts that we touched will remain strong and untainted.

Ultimately, the mindset that comes with “making a difference in the world” creates two groups of people: frustrated souls, who feel like they never make a big enough difference and very proud and righteous souls, who believe everything but themselves needs fixing.

Both the frustrated and the proud only focus on the output, or the result that they can see in others.  The true difference in the world is what happens to you in the process and how we apply the transformed self to the world around us right now.  No wonder when we set out to “help others”, we end up walking away with the feeling that they helped us more – that is just the point!  We walk away with that feeling because we have finally been humbled.  Teaching helps me just as much as it helps them; we are equals from different generations.  To quote our school’s creed, “…because together we are better, we bring out the best in each other and in ourselves everyday and every way.”  When we witness how changed we are after helping others, we finally look at ourselves as a part of the world that needs help too.  Help in becoming less proud, more humble, and to walk side by side with the rest of the world that we apparently look down on or see the need to fix.

I analyzed my Fractional Life at the end of summer break this year and have been testing out the Whole Life Mindset (no more fractions) through how I connect with others on a daily basis.  I encourage you to do the same.  I have found that you can see the change in your mindset mostly when you are simply talking to people.  Let’s face it, we are talking to people all the time, so imagine how much change you can encourage in yourself and others at the same time, all the time!  The Whole Life Mindset helps you remember that we are all the same and that each person is in the conversation to be inspired.  Whether I am at work, volunteering, partying, exercising, and even when dating, the conversations are in the present and meaningful for both parties.  This new mindset takes away pride and judgement to the point where you can set the tone for how the conversations will go.  People can sense the changed energy in you and they feel safe to be themselves in that moment with you.  When I reflected on the Fractional Life and saw myself for what I was – someone who truly does ache to do good in the world in order to grow – I had to see the ugly parts of myself too – someone who couldn’t do it consistently in all the parts of my life and almost tried to force change upon people so many times.

We make mistakes, we must own.  We lie, so we must reflect.  We judge, where we must look at ourselves first.  We take pride, which we must take away.  We praise ourselves, in order to truly praise others. 

I saw these Yings and Yangs in my heart only with the help of teaching harder, volunteering more, praying consistently, running a marathon, and being there for my friends and family.  It all became intertwined to where life…even teaching…is beyond the classroom.  We must carry out the lessons learned to how we interact with everything and everyone.  The great part is that when this mindset changes, you become genuine in everything you do and say.  It’s as if the light bulb is ON in your heart all the time and there is no off switch.  Everyone who I have interacted with since my mindset changed has felt the change.  Our relationships have become more connected in a loving way and are stronger for unselfish reasons.  The classroom has been my little utopia, so if I can create this utopia for a class of 26 strangers over and over and get the same beautiful results, then I should carry that with me in who I am, even in the areas that I doubt the most.  We must face these areas, with the core of who we are, and watch what happens. In the words of the 16 year old musical artist, Lorde, “We’re on each others’ team”.

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“Team”

by: Lorde

Wait ’til you’re announced
We’ve not yet lost all our graces
The hounds will stay in chains
Look upon your greatness
That you’ll send the call out
Send the call out…

Call all the ladies out
They’re in their finery
A hundreds jewels on throats
A hundred jewels between teeth
Now bring my boys in
Their skin in craters like the moon
The moon we love like a brother, while he glows through the room

Dancin’ around the lies we tell
Dancin’ around big eyes as well
Even the comatose they don’t dance and tell

We live in cities you’ll never see on screen
Not very pretty, but we sure know how to run free
Living in ruins of the palace within my dreams
And you know, we’re on each others’ team

I’m kind of over getting told to throw my hands up in the air, so there
So all the cups got broke shards beneath our feet but it wasn’t my fault
And everyone’s competing for a love they won’t receive
‘Cause what this palace wants is release

We live in cities you’ll never see on screen
Not very pretty, but we sure know how to run free
Living in ruins of the palace within my dreams
And you know, we’re on each other’s team

I’m kind of over getting told to throw my hands up in the air
So there
I’m kinda older than I was when I reveled without a care
So there

We live in cities you’ll never see on screen
Not very pretty, but we sure know how to run free
Living in ruins of the palace within my dreams
And you know, we’re on each other’s team
We’re on each other’s team
And you know, we’re on each other’s team
We’re on each other’s team
And you know, and you know, and you know