Come and Get Your Love by Red Bone

How we receive gifts says a lot about us.  You may not think it does, but it highlights the status of our hearts.  

When a child wakes up on his or her birthday, she is SO excited – unbelievably ecstatic!  The thrill, the energy that builds in her eyes is all looking forward to a day of surprises and joy!  From people coming to visit, to presents arriving at the door with each family or friend, to just the overall feeling of knowing she will be celebrated today.

Adults forget that it’s okay to bask in the receiving of gifts; that it’s okay to be worthy of such special treatment and overly excited about it.  Do any of these thoughts below resonate with you?

• I shouldn’t be too excited when someone gives me a gift.
• I feel like I am being humble by not acknowledging my appreciation for gifts.
• I shouldn’t get too excited about what people bring as gifts, versus why we are gathering together.
• It’s rude to open gifts at a party while people are still there.
• People shouldn’t need to hear “Thank you” or feel acknowledged for the gifts they give.
• I am particular about what kinds of gifts people give me, so I would rather just not ask for gifts.
• I would rather tell people what I want as gifts versus let people give me what they feel like giving me.
• I refuse to buy people gifts so that the focus is not on material things.
• When I receive a gift I don’t like, I make it known to the person who gave me the gift or I return it right away.
• When I receive gifts I do not prefer I blame that person for getting me such a gift.
• I force people to not purchase gifts – I don’t want to be a financial burden.
• I have a hard time receiving gifts because there are others in the world who are suffering or do not have the opportunity to receive gifts in the first place.
• We do not believe in gifts or any kind of positive reinforcement.

Humility with gift-giving and receiving gets a little confusing sometimes for adults. Many of us have been there with some of these thoughts that originally started out with good intentions and then somewhere along the way they turned into a negative fog, completely hindering the ability to receive people’s love and good intentions. Beyond that, sometimes these ideas we have of how to be more sensitive to materialism or privilege ends up distorting our own ability to honor the notion of spontaneity and surrender. Living a surrendered life, much like the heart of a child, we are then open to learning and receiving as we go versus trying to control what comes in and goes out with every interaction.

Children do not think twice about a gift.  They’re gifts!  They are free surprises.  They don’t know how much things cost in the world, they don’t even care where you got it from or how it got there.  They are simply filled with joy that you even thought to get them something and embrace the joy of receiving the gift immediately.  They tear it open, make a ridiculous mess – like a dog ripping through a box, they break through every nook and cranny of the present.

Aside from the material aspect of a gift at times, gifts come in many forms.  Sometimes it’s a thoughtful text, message, email, card, hug, compliment, conversation and so on.  Gifts are not always something bought for a person, sometimes they are made or hand-crafted.  Therefore, the source of the joy from a gift does not come from the item itself – it comes from the parts we cannot see or articulate at times.  It’s emotional, or an element of surprise, “Wow!  How did you know I wanted one of these!?” or “Oh my goodness, I can’t believe you would even think of me!”  

I like to think of Santa Claus and God in this way.  On Christmas, sometimes there a few things I really want and sometimes I do not know what I want.  Either way, God always comes through on Christmas with exactly what I needed or wanted.  Sometimes, exactly what I needed was a super sweet hand-written card from one of my nephews.  I cry when I open it and then put it in a place where I can see it everyday, reminding me of their pure love while reflecting on where my heart is at that moment. Their love helps keep my heart in the silly-fo-life range!  Other times, I ask for something and worry that it might be too big of an ask, but then somehow multiple gift cards come through to put toward the item or my husband finds a way to make it a reality.  The Holy Spirit works through gifts every time.

In this same way, we are supposed to have expectant hearts.  We are supposed to know that good things are coming all the time.  That God paves the way for us, even when we feel like the future or the present cannot be figured out. Which is true to some extent – it cannot be figured out by us nor does He want us to try to even figure it out all by ourselves (breeds anxiety, stress, worry, and so on) … Instead, when we turn to Him expecting gifts, we are surrendering to Him, so that HE can work it all out for us.  THAT process is His gift to us: when we completely rely on Him, it is the action of us moving out of the way and now He can finally gift us.  Each time we do this, we witness how He works in our lives and our hearts grow tremendously in faith. 

From this experience, our hearts realize how to trust – how to expect His love and guidance every time.

Children read right into this part of gift-giving and receiving.  Sure, they get carried away at some point and have to be taught to be grateful no matter the circumstance, but the initial open heart of a child expecting gifts and embracing them so easily is the part we want to focus on here.  It says a lot about their hearts.  It says a lot about how they receive goodness, automatically!

As adults, we’ve been exposed to so many different parts of the world by this point and sometimes we get curbed along the way, thinking we are not worthy or we are bad or we do not deserve such love and grace.  But as Catholics, we must remember, every single one of us is a sinner.  We are in the same boat as the murderer and the nun. I know that sounds nuts to some people, but there is relief in knowing we are ALL the underdog – you can literally only go UP!  Meaning, God is calling ALL of us.  His love is not reserved for people practicing faith; He is calling every single person on earth.  

If we know we are all sinners in this way, then we know we all need ongoing purification.  But how do we get purification?  How do we get our hearts in a position to embrace the Sacraments, accept patience, speak with grace, comfort a friend, live with humility?  We have to open our hearts.  We literally, open our heart to the idea of hope and help from God.

Therefore, our hearts have to be vulnerable all the time.  Our hearts have to be willing to open up, even just a smidge, to receive help from God – to receive His graces.  When we do this, we turn to Him and then we are able to see Him working in our lives: through our friends, teachers, parents, siblings, spouses, colleagues, co-workers, nature, in everything and everyone!  Ever so slightly we turn to Him, but that slight turn, is enough for Him to fill us up with EVERYTHING we need and truly desire.

There is a joy knowing that you are entitled to God’s gifts every single day.  No matter who you are!  God is for EVERYONE.  He knows your heart.  His love goes beyond political parties, faith organizations, titles, pedigrees, social status, etc.  He calls EVERYONE.  We wouldn’t have converts, Good Samaritans, and people growing deeper in their faith if this wasn’t true.  There are no boundaries for God’s love.  It is up to us to receive Him (like a gift) with an open heart.

You are entitled to His love, the way a child is entitled to receiving insane amounts of gifts when the whole family comes to her party.  No matter the circumstances, no matter the road blocks you think are in the way of God’s gifts, He is always giving you what you need or want.  The imaginary roadblocks are walls WE put up in thinking that we are not worthy or that it is wrong to be able to receive God’s gifts.

“Grace is a gift from God, but like any gift, it must be received, opened, and used.  Otherwise, the benefits that go along with such a gift are not realized.”

The Imitation of Mary:  Keys to Growth in Virtue and Grace
by Fr. Quan Tran 

This quote from Father Tran inspired this blog post. The first part of Fr. Tran’s message that triggered an immediate response in my heart was “it must be received, opened, and used.”  So many of us in the Catholic faith have lost the focus of our own hearts.  We are looking at the world and all the things we disagree with instead of where OUR OWN heart is with receiving God’s gifts in the first place.  It is our heart we need to be laser focused on today.  It is our heart that needs to be guided every single day.  In order to receive the guidance we are looking for, we have to be open to God changing it and teaching it on the fly.

So many people walk in and out of mass, but refuse to apply it – use the gifts.  They step out of mass and immediately start harping about politics or the things of the world they are frustrated with, without any intention of stepping into the trenches with these so-called sinners of the world.  In these moments, we are missing the whole point of taking what we receive and APPLYING it.  No application equals no grace and we need that grace to receive the courage to carry out what God asks us to do or be.

If we accept God’s gifts more often, and apply them, we will start to see a ripple effect of change, beauty and truth in our corners of the world.  

The second crucial part of Fr. Tran’s words is very apparent these days, “the benefits that go along with such a gift are not realized.”  Meaning, some of us do open the gifts received in prayer and let them sit on the shelf, doubting they are of any use to us.  Or worse, we are receiving gift after gift after gift and completely unaware, therefore the heart is in a state of ungratefulness.  When we are ungrateful, we are never satisfied.  When we are unsatisfied, we are always searching or trying to figure life out on our own, rather than letting God guide the way.  When we open our hearts, God gives us the courage and humility to do what He has asked us to do or be who He needs us to be.  Ungrateful hearts refuse to serve with humility.  They refuse to let God’s love into the places where they don’t want to see it; they know His power and they refuse to let Him change their lives.  They create a world of their own where they are always in charge.  Manipulation, narcissism, projection, using others, blaming others – all of that toxicity comes out of this type of closed heart and they run rampant today. 

This is a hard one to witness; it is a state of hell and often we get affected by people like this on a personal level.  Their closed heart is always able to find a scapegoat, usually someone in their close circle of family or friends.  These same people appear to get everything they ask for and take it all for granted. Sometimes life experiences are able to shake them through it, but often, these kinds of hearts refuse to acknowledge the opportune turning points in life and never come to realize the love waiting for them while hurting many along the way.  If you know the latter, then it is easier to pray for them and picture them one day opening up to the Lord’s love – for all our sakes!

We must trust that if we live with an open and vulnerable heart, always expecting gifts from the Lord, then our faith will grow and therefore our spheres of influence will grow too. 

Without an open heart, we cannot trust.  Without trust, we cannot have faith.  Without faith, who are we as Catholics or Christians?  Can we even call ourselves people of faith, without vulnerably receiving and applying the gifts from God?  

Ask yourself, where am I right now with receiving gifts?  Is it difficult for me to receive and accept gifts?  And do I do the same when God presents me with His guidance, instruction, grace, love, and courage?

With Joy,

Bloomified