You Send Me by Sam Cooke

Sam Cooke’s voice reminds us of a time when there was apparently less to worry about.  And as much as we want to call days like that, days like The Sandlot and Aretha Franklin, “easier”, they sure as hell were not.

It’s the melody of the most romantic voice, and a time when even during a rough era, people were not afraid to be REAL – to be their TALENTED selves. The association of one-liner mantras and repetitive stanzas from these times proves songs like Sam’s have a one-up on us.  Like, how did they figure out the simple answers to life and love when here we are with crazy technology and PHD’s for days!?  The truth is, we have it so much easier, that it’s actually a detriment to our well-being.

Love, which seems to be one of the most complex concepts to most people and particularly to this generation, is very simple to me.

I still base it on how I taught my students to treat one another.  Respect.  Honesty.  Patience.  Empathy.  Like how you love your family, is how you will love your partner.  There’s no other way around it.  You can’t get through life just being attracted to someone, otherwise we’d all be single forever, and just bouncing from one person to the next (not a bad idea, right?)  Naw, you gotta be able to kick it, when you finally choose someone.  You gotta be able to sit on rocking chairs and rock a while.  You gotta be able to lay on the sand and chill out.  Say nothing.  Do nothing.  But still be around one another.  And the simple answer to why most people don’t want to do that?  Because most of us keep trying to do that list above with someone, when we haven’t done it solo yet.  If you do it solo enough for a while, you will finally appreciate the other person in your life and not feel the anxious need to find someone else.

Today, there’s just too many questions, preferences, and customizations, like we’re cooking up some kind of perfect match.  The idea of meeting the “right person”, the “hottest person”, the most “creative person”, the “bravest person.”  It’s all just a parallel to where we are at in life.  And let’s face it, we’re not the most mature people if that’s all we got so far.  In reality, who you are and where you’re at in life will depict the person you end up with or are with currently.  Your maturity matches their maturity, plain and simple.  And if it does not, then you haven’t ripped the bandaid fast enough.  So if you want to be with someone better or more at “your level”, then BE BETTER and move on.

When you know yourself, you are completely at ease with who you are.

You are able to believe in someone else without controlling them.  You can be the most compassionate, loving companion to anyone and be incredibly patient and understanding even in the most frustrating of times.

I just got back from New York City.  Days of hangin’ in Central Park, and eating good food with the family.  Though I have been there about 3 times and have seen all the touristy sights, this was the first time I truly saw and felt New York.  I connected with it.  This moment I had with the city made me realize that my own love connection with the city is a parallel for being ready to accept love from another person on a whole new level.  One that I have been trying to understand for years.

There was a sense of comfortability when I was in the city, that was not there before.  I could walk the streets and felt very much a part of it.  I could see my life there, even if I never move there.  Love and life are connected in that very same way.  That comfortability only comes when you’ve done some time alone and brutally faced who you are, what you like to do, and what you crave to accomplish.  How else can you share yourself with someone in a way that is not manipulative, controlling, or just for the time being?

Beyond knowing and understanding who you are, I believe moments like this one in NYC are when all the dots, or fixed points in your life, connect.  Where for the first time, you can see why you went from A to B or are interested in X, Y, and Z.  From my most painful memories, to my most joyous, loving days, I feel and see how it all is a foundation for something much greater than I could have ever expected.

If you’ve read my backstory, you would think my life would have sent me down a very negative route.  And every day since that painful chapter, I have often wondered why it did not.  Which is why I write.  To get to the truth.  I have sorted through every chapter of life to articulate some kind of path or guide for others.  I have used Bloomified to show how most people do not tap into the resources they already have, in order to truly bloom; to become exactly what they want to be, inside and out, bringing success, self-respect, great relationships, and strong family, faith, and friends into their lives.

Why shouldn’t you have it all?

To have it all, comes with a price. A reasonable one to be honest.  Facing yourself to the core, seems pretty realistic to me.  It does not take fancy therapy, or constant medicine.  It just takes sheer guts to face the simple facts of life that are right in front of us all, all the time.  Just depends on whether you want to see it like that or not.

Life is the REAL LOVE you are craving.  It is not found in the comfortability of being with someone, or even in family being physically close to you.  Though those aspects in life make us feel a little better and inspire us to dig deeper, they still are more like a strong bandaid compared to the love of knowing, appreciating, and understanding yourself.

Life is about YOU.  And YOU have to be about Life.  It’s a relationship, in itself.

Your dreams pave the way for others.  Your dreams bring you closer to the ones you love.  Your dreams take you to the places you crave to go and to the people you want to meet.

Within those dreams are rocky roads and challenging times, but knowing yourself allows you to believe in what is greater.  To have the faith.  To do things right.  To be a good person.  To forgive.  To love.  To take care of others.  To have patience.  All the while, striving for what you feel you are meant to do in this life.  If good intentions are the foundation, all will be blessed.  No doubt.

It is hard to do the right thing daily, but it is the more fortunate route for the body, mind and soul.  Have you ever felt good after Lying? Cheating? Manipulating?  You might get what you want when you commit such actions, but it is not long term happiness.  It is limited.  Even worse, you end up having to commit the same terrible actions over and over to maintain the lifestyle you so-called “want” and your relationships are far from genuine because they are giving back exactly what you put forth.

If you’ve gone down that path already, then it’s been a long time since you’ve felt what it’s like to get what you want AND be filled with radiant love that positively affects every part of your life without even having to be in the driver’s seat.  How tiring is that?  Having to be in control all the time?  It doesn’t last.  You crash eventually or need a lot of supplements, to say the least.

The kind of loving energy I speak of not only helps you financially, but helps others too.  It is limitless, unconditional, forgiving, fortunate, almost child-like, and transcends into everything you do and say without even thinking about it after a while.

Those are the two roads in life.  Those are your only two choices.  It is that simple.

And every time we take a step in the wrong direction, we feel it.  It builds up like crap on top of crap.  It eats us alive even when we think we are not aware of it.  And when you wake up to see the load of disgusting layers built, it is that much harder to forgive yourself, to forgive others, to be honest, to be genuine and to turn to those you love for help.  You have to start from scratch at that point, teach yourself how to be REAL again, and scrape off all the layers day by day.

Save yourself the trip through Hell and let life SEND you, like a love song made in the fifties.  Let life SEND you to those you need to call and say sorry to, to the people you need to be honest to, to yourself in the mirror to face, forgive, and heal, or to your family members who need you or want to give you more love.

When we stay utterly true to doing the best we possibly can even if it’s tough, it pays off immensely.  Life becomes less worrisome, because now we are on autopilot to being true to ourselves in the most genuine way.  Where every day feels like spring in Central Park, or like a first kiss as the snow is starting to fall on top of the Empire State Building.  Thanks to the East Coast, I don’t have to dream about these things happening anymore.  Life has SENT me here and it feels pretty damn good – like being in love every single day.  And life will continue to SEND ME to other places, people, and things.