Someone Who Can by YUNA
YUNA – like the switch of a season, she brings cherry blossoms to her oceanic vibe, birds chirping to her repetition, snow falling to her comforting voice. I discovered her at a Pier Concert in Santa Monica right before I moved to the East Coast and whether I am writing for myself or for others, she gets it all out of me.
Being that I write alongside music, I have discovered this safe place, much like the running zone of a long distance runner. Since I happen to do both, running marathons and writing, I have been able to compare these zones of consciousness I tap into, as I constantly drift off to never-never land when writing, when thinking, when running, when teaching, when drinking coffee.
Moving to the East Coast has triggered a permanent running zone now. It was cultivated in California and the life I lived there gave me all the tools I needed to get the most out of this life. Here, on the opposite side of the country, I get to use the tools, manipulate them, and analyze them – like being in a constant running zone with no interruptions.
And now, as I prepare to head home to visit the people who lovingly gave me each tool or instilled in me the faith to use them, I find that the running zone is continuing in a deeper way – taking me to a deeper part of the heart, where I can contemplate on another level, listening to every part of myself simultaneously, like a song on repeat. Now, I am able to go back to all of these people and places mentally, while in the zone of my present life.
St. Teresa de Avila compares the soul to the many rooms of a mansion, which she refers to as the Interior Castle. She shares,
“These people are sometimes in the castle before they have begun to think about God at all. I cannot say where they entered it or how they heard their Shepherd’s call: it was certainly not with their ears, for outwardly such a call is not audible.”
Not only does St. Teresa define all the rooms of the mansion, but she shares her insight taken from prayer about the many versions of ourselves and where we are in relation to the rooms of the mansion, or if we are even aware of it at all.
Like anything else, any book or concept, her analogy of this interior castle to the soul adheres to you in a particular way. It struck me hard, as I am a person who clings to my interior with all my might and have relied on it greatly throughout life without even noticing. I can’t help but feel that my mansion is finally visible to me and now to others as well. I can see all the rooms available. I can see which ones I’ve entered, which ones I am avoiding, and which ones I crave to be in.
Looking at life on the West Coast to the present on the East Coast, I have that aerial view of my soul and of life through the mansion and its many rooms. Although, it feels more like God showing me my life from the sky above, like a movie trailer premiering different previews of the past. I am a fly on the wall to my own life. And because of this, I get to soak it all up in a deeper way – like the most beautiful gift you could ever receive. I get to laugh at the funniest and best moments all over again, from the inside. I get to cry and feel the pain that I was once numb to and then embrace the beauty of healing and crossing a Finish Line, all over again. I get to let all the past feelings pour in and out of me in the most beautifully healing, rhythmic way – like waves constantly forming, crashing, receding, and calming down, only to repeat the cycle. I get to rake in the applause and receive those flowers of recognition one more time, but this time, I am aware of the acknowledgements and of the genuine praise I could not see behind it all.
And finally, there is an endless amount of love that I cannot keep all to myself.
Though, I have always been that way, I now feel the overwhelming power of this love I have and receive. I can see how it is literally always at the max and that I crave to share it with the world. This love is more radiant than ever. Not for just a person one day, but in my heart: for everything and everyone.
There is no turning back from this heavenly place. Once entered into such a part of life, your soul and your heart are sold. It shows you that even the darkest parts of this world, cannot touch you. They cannot taint you permanently. Fear, denial, selfishness, and vanity – all the horrible things of this world don’t compare to the strings that tug at your heart and soul from the goodness of this world. The pull of the GOODNESS is so much stronger than the bad.
Once your heart tastes where it is supposed to be, it stays there and there is no stopping it.
And that is the most comforting piece of advice I’ve concluded, from my own experiences and reflections.
Humbling yourself to the people around you, to the books in the window, to the songs on the radio, to the palm trees standing so tall and still, is a good start. It is simply all there for you. More helpful and comforting than any therapist you could ever pay for. Truer than any advice anyone can give you. And you will feel this certainty, this utter wisdom that comes from the goodness of the world, immediately. Tapping into this interior world will implode all the bad lurking within, and like a magnet, your heart will attract only the goodness, from this moment on.
The toolbox is all around and ready to be accessed. Your heart is already there at the Finish Line, waiting for you to get on board. Just allow your mind to see it, use it, listen to it, and believe in it.
