Song for this post: Adeleine by Water From Your Eyes

Inspired greatly from our trip to the UK, visiting Edinburgh, Scotland and their most famous Loch Ness & Caledonia in the Highlands as well as a short stay in London, home of all of literature’s bests! From Shakespeare, to Peter Pan, to Harry Potter … the list goes on.

And while we were there, we couldn’t help but feel every bit of history – the royal lines, the battles – wars won and wars lost. We have yet in our country to have been humbled in such a way that would cause us to rely on the innermost beauties and appreciations of life. We do not know such a horror, and pray that we never do. Yet, somehow, we pray that our country does in deed discover for one’s self how to live in the most important reality of life, the one that comes from such destruction and rebuilding, despair and suffering, tragedy and death … the imagination.

“Genius is the infinite capacity for taking pains.” – The Complete Sherlock Holmes by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

It is the imagination … sheer wonder … that we lack greatly. We are too tied to the materialistic, and yet we do not even have a royal line. Hmm, how ironic. Which left my husband and I to go down the Alice In Wonderland “Rabbit Hole” if you will, to finally realizing how and why one can be of the New World and yet be limited in mind, body and soul. We are free, and yet that is an illusion, or better yet, a delusion for most.

To nail this in even further, beyond the daily facets of the human life, it takes great imagination to have genuine faith as well. Not the kind of faith that everyone tells you to have or teaches you to have, but the kind that comes from truly enduring life – being pummeled and knowing God for yourself. To believe in God, you must have a brave imagination. You must be able to dare to imagine and trust that you will recognize the line between true and false once you get there. You must be ready to experience beyond what you can understand. If one can believe in unicorns and folklore and witches and magic, then one can most definitely dare to believe in God – the Holy Spirit – Healing Graces and yes, Miracles (Milagros). Faith radiates in an inner knowing kind of way in places where the bigger picture of beauty and imagination are at the forefront.

“For to have faith is to have wings.” – Peter Pan in Kensington Gardens & Peter and Wendy by J.M. Barrie

It is in the imagination that Justin and I choose to live every single day. We learned at a young age how to feed this center of our soul. We feed the imagination with beauty, music, nature, peace, good food, love for one another, new creations, innovation, literature, reflecting, listening, silence, the sacraments, prayer, writing, superb whiskey, traveling, the beach, strangers, pubs, community, and discovering new things about each other every single day.

You ever wonder why it’s so easy to play pretend with children? To talk to children? To be in the world of a child? It’s the adult who struggles to value imagination, which then leads them down a treacherous death of a life, “living” according to things that simply do not matter.

Teaching was one of my most favorite chapters of life because I did not have to spend daily energy shielding myself from the negatively limited mind of the adult. It takes a great humility and ongoing realization for an adult to hand over the mind and heart to the imagination and to re-learning how it works. You have to choose this path amidst everything you thought you once knew or thought was important.

If we are living with an open heart to dare to imagine every day, then we have put ourselves in the right plane of vulnerability … not vulnerably a victim of life, but a genuine receiver of life. When living in this way, one can receive each page of life able to discern with the power of the Spirit that dwells within.

“Being normal is not necessarily a virtue, it rather denotes a lack of courage.” – Practical Magic

May we all dare to Fly like Peter Pan, clink glasses after a Battle won or lost, break the curses of our wounded pasts, and believe in a life where 9 and 3/4 is right in front of you .. waiting to be entered, taking us in to the most interior of castles we could ever imagine.

With Great Love & Joy,

Diane

“Somebody’s Watching Me” by Rockwell

Can you admit when you are wrong? To a person, to yourself? Can you admit when you’ve made a mistake? When you’ve hurt someone? It used to be that a wrongdoing or even misunderstanding was immediately followed by an apology or at least a “my bad.” But now, many people have taken on a newly, crafted approach to their wrong doings.

Not only do they choose to sin, they choose to double down on the narrative that nobody can see it, no one is affected by it, that it’s not a sin/wrongdoing in the first place, or that the people receiving this behavior deserve it or have the right to be hurt by it.

Even worse, they have created a reality for their friends, companions and children to buy into this way of behaving and thinking. We will not dive into how and why they do this, as that is a never-ending trap to spiral down into trying to think in their way or provide excuses (false compassion). However, when these moments are taken to prayer, handed over to God, He sheds wisdom and light on how to respond to this hurtful and dysfunctional behavior.

If you have encountered such an experience, 100% of the time, it’s only this hurtful because it has happened in your family. This is the only reason we can see it and are affected by it. But how do you respond or correct such a thing happening in your family with love, grace, and good intentions without committing a wrongdoing as well?

Being a person of faith in constant discerment of my own actions, sufferings, failings and sorrow, I finally see this manipulative behavior as a trap for the person committing it and the people closest to them who are deeply affected by the spell of their domination.

People who act this way are not just hardened hearts. A hardened heart is someone who is stubborn enough to put up walls, but they do not impose their own hardened perspective on others.

No. This kind of dysfunction runs deep and is a newly evolving version of woundedness, and it is becoming more and more common in our society. In our families. In our workplaces. And, so on.

I have been fascinated by this behavior for quite some time and have experimented with all kinds of different ways to respond to it. But now, having finally gotten to the far end of the spectrum where I see this behavior being handed down to the next generation, I was compelled to turn to God about it in a whole new way. It began with reading the very first part of Psalms. I have read Psalms as an ongoing morning prayerful practice. It is inexhaustible, meaning you learn and receive something new from the Lord each time. It doesn’t matter what season of life you are in, He delivers through Psalms not just the comfort and soothing balm to your wounds, but the instructional “how to” of life as well.

Psalms 1: 1 – 4

Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked,

Nor stand in the way of sinners,

nor sit in company with scoffers.

Rather, the law of the Lord is his joy;

and on his law he meditates day and night.

He is like a tree planted near streams of water,

that yields its fruit in season;

Its leaves never whither;

whatever he does prospers.

After meditating and receiving wisdom from these verses, it dawned on me that this behavior truly is “wicked” in a way that we are afraid to admit. On some level, we do not want to think that if someone is not murdering or not breaking the Law in an obvious way, that it is not immoral or not sinful. To zoom in more descriptively, a heart that manipulates and takes advantage is one that refuses to let love in and refuses to be corrected. Which means, a heart like this refuses to obey the request for humility. When a heart does not heed to such a request, that means there are layers and layers and laaaaaayers of shame present.

This shame and anger causes them to create a new reality, for their victoms and the people closest to them in their life.

This new reality is very hard to see even as the victim, but it is even harder for the people closest to them to break free from and see as actually happening. The hardened heart, works very hard at making this reality “normal” for their companion and children, if they have children. This is very important because this means they can continue acting this way without anyone successfully calling them out. If light is remotely shed on the problem, the people in their lives (their family) are used like protectors, shields and weapons to keep from any possibility of correction or reflection happening – trained enablers, who never stood a chance.

The Good News is! Yes, there is Good News here. The Good News is, you can never, ever be truly hurt by someone who acts toward you in this way. Nor destroyed. No one can ever hurt nor destroy you when you have good intentions. But in this scenario specifically, I want all those out there suffering from this to know: wicked can never hurt or destroy you no matter how much pain they have brought on your life.

The attacker’s perspective is not real. It is based on a false, corrupt and extremely dysfuntional foundation.

So what CAN you do? How do you remain close or love people in your family, even when they intentionally try to pit the world against you or create a false reality where you are a “bad person” or the “wrong one”?

Let us first begin with this notion: The fact that such an evil intention exists, proves that God is real. Meaning, you cannot fight against this type of behavior with normal human thinking. No. You actually have to take such a thing to prayer, or you will go nuts constantly trying to figure this out yourself, or dealing with it yourself. The pain is just TOO MUCH. You will either dive down a despair spiral, cut people out viciously, hurt them, or try to protect yourself in a way that only brings you more pain.

Admitting that we need God, that we need supernatural wisdom and help is the first step.

In this way, we now hand this issue over to God and see it through His eyes – not our own. When this happens, we can see that God will not only show us how to respond, but He shows us how sad and trapped this person is to his/her own wounds and twisted perspective of people, love and life. We are shockingly filled with compassion for an enemy when this happens.

Your first human reaction to this might be to want to help the person. Which is a mistake and rash response to this feeling of compassion and empathy. God does not ask us to go out and save these people ourselves. No, He asks us to keep listening to Him and withold our need to try and fix this behavior. We then struggle with, “Well what do you want me to do then? I cannot enable this behavior either, for everyone involved or for my own sake?”

And this is where our beautiful faith is beyond anything you have imagined.

God shows up in these moments with supernatural guidance and prophetic instructions. He shows us another path we can take, but He shows it to us in very slow motion because it is so nuance that we will miss it!

We know this path is from God because it is both empowering and uplifting for both you and everyone involved, and brings peace and healing to YOUR heart. In fact, it will bring peace to each person involved over time. Here’s the path:

• God first shows us how we can turn away from this detrimental behavior by doubling down on knowing our identity as a daughter or son of God, which means internally when this realization has been made, it is supernaturally felt by the evil one.
• Then, in moments where we witness abusive behavior, we redirect the conversation or moment to something else more beautiful, positive, completely unrelated, simply AWAY from the attempt of the manipulator who is trying to derail or bring everyone down the path of a false and harmful, skewed reality.

These reponses might at first sound passive or “not enough” to make an impact, or even “uninvolved.” But trust, there is more. When you know who you believe in and who you belong to (God, not the attacker), your awareness of their evil becomes known to the whole room and to the evil one’s heart as well. They can feel it and see it, even if they don’t show you they are having this realization. It lightning bolts their motive to the core.

Like a prisoner, trapped by an evil spirit, the attacker can recognize what is actually happening. It does not take words. But it does take admitting to yourself what is really happening and that you are not imagining it, and you are not at fault. You must admit to yourself that this person does not have good intentions, is not in the right, and is resisting the love of God. Their reasons for why are not to be used as an excuse in this moment. Wrong is wrong. Sin is sin. And the only cure for this type of behavior? Letting God’s loving guidance and gentle correction into their hearts. And who can do this? Only the attacker can choose to let God’s love in.

By redirecting the conversation or moment, you demonstrate a power they are not able to withstand or fight against. They are now powerless. Our redirection dismisses the person, but not in a way that is condescending because it dismisses and discounts their behavior, their actions, and their choice to go down such a road.

This subtle response has deep impact.

Knowing the behavior is intentionally discounted, God supernaturally conveys the truth in the moment to this prisoner of their own dysfunction and to every single person in the room witnessing it. The attacker will try their best to not have a reaction to your grace and supernatural faith in the moment, but it is happening – they are feeling a light shown on their manipulative actions. And this is the worst thing they can feel. They do not feel bad for the way they treat or hurt others, but they do feel terrible when they can see for a moment that they have been SEEN. There are countless verses to support this concept of light shining on the darkness, but here’s a good one to remember:

Ephesians 5: 7-9; 11; 13-14

So do not be associated with them. For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light, for light produces every kind of goodness and righteousness and truth. […] Take no part in the fruitless works of darkness; rather expose them, […] but everything exposed by the light becomes visible, for everything that becomes visible is light. Therefore, it says: “Awake, O sleeper, and arise from the dead, and Christ will give you light.”

It is upsettting to the “darkness” that they cannot get a typical reaction from you. That you are not going to go on a direct attempt to tell them their behavior is unfair and wrong. They want you to do this, so that they can create another false reality about you to their loved ones. Do not revel in the fact that the beast has been beaten, but rather embrace it – knowing – that you are guided by the Holy Spirit and it is His Love that is giving you the power and grace to hold ground for His Love to rule over the moment and shine a light on this darkness.

The discipline of obeying God’s command under such horrific circumstances creates a mirror – a supernatural mirror. And it must be held up gracefully, in this composed way, reflecting the light gently. This is the only way to respond to brutally dysfunctional and manipulative behavior.

Another glorious result of this kind of response is that the kids involved and the others you love who are held captive by this behavior, ARE SET FREE TOO! They can see and feel where your love and strength are coming from, they recognize the truth for a brief moment and can see the light! These small, nuance moments become subconsiously ingrained in their brains and when they are ready, when the time is right for them, they are able to break free on their own of this generational, dysfunctional behavior that has been holding them down in such a controlled manner. They too will relive these moments and know that the behavior they were exposed to daily, is wrong.

As Fall descends and Winter approaches, I feel like we go down the rabbit hole of creativity and reflection. I will be praying for anyone waking up during this time, the veil lifted revealing the abusive behavior they have been exposed to or controlled by. Many times, we are not able to even realize what we have endured. We are in disbelief. But know, that though it feels like the whole world is functionining this way, this is exactly why we all must have a relationship with God in the first place and lean on Him to help us be the light, the joy, and reflect truth for those around us. It is in this way that we can help others see what God sees and know that we are not destined to be slaves to this behavior. We are meant to demonstrate what it’s like to be unshackled and not under the spell of abuse, manipulation, dysfunction and generational brainwashing. The more we wake up from the slumber of doing nothing, and the more we reflect God’s reality (not the evil one’s), the more this manipulative presence recognizes it has NO power over our family and friends. Amen!

With Great Love & Joy,

Diane

Post written alongside to: The Dancing Queen by ABBA

“The problem is that most people pursue pleasures for themselves — that is, as their own ends — instead of seeing them as a means to bring us to God.  These fleeting pleasures are God’s gifts to us to help us know Him and love Him and grow closer to Him.  Yet tragically, we get so caught up in the gifts that we forget about the Giver.” – The Imitation of Mary by Fr. Quan Tran

“The problem is that most people pursue pleasures for themselves […]”

• Makes me think of the chapter we just endured as a nation during and post-Covid, where many people of faith claim to believe in Jesus and yet they condemn others. We have to step up and be the example of God’s love now, especially to those at Church who are serving politics over God. Politics are for pleasure and personal gain – God is for ALL.
• Reminds me of narcissists and manipulators in our spheres of influence, who claim to have power over you for their own pleasure and wants.
• Reminds me of those who have wronged us. We may never get to see how God brings the smackdown on them (earthly justice), but if we focus on our own lives and the gifts we receive from God, then trust, the smackdown has already been set in motion on those who have wronged you. They are never truly content and have a distorted perception of purpose. Plus, when we focus on what God has provided for us and give him credit for it all, forgiveness comes easily and the anger completely melts away “smooth like buttuh”.

“[…] instead of seeing them as a means to bring us to God.”

• Reminds me of people who ask and ask and ask for what they want, get what they want, and then treat others terribly (clearly missing the point of gratitude). What is the purpose of receiving in this life, for you?
• Reminds me of classic narcissism, just using the title of faith to “have” versus “be” changed by God. If you are Christian/Catholic, why do you believe in God? What’s the point? Is it for your benefit of some kind?
• When you look at the lives of your enemies, can you see God in the fruits of their lives?  Or do you just see material things, the things they wanted to obtain really badly? This will answer your question of whether someone has “everything they’ve ever wanted” or not.  For if one is truly resting in content, you will see God working in his/her life in every which way and there will be no feelings of competition or comparison. The same goes for us, when we put our lives under the microscope.

“[…] we forget about the Giver.”

• Reminds me of how many people are anti-God right now because of how badly people of faith have misrepresented God and His love.
• We forget about the Giver because we’ve been wounded in life or hurt by those who claim to represent Christ.
• Everything good we receive is from God (whether you believe in God or not, He is on your side and paving the pathways to be free). We only need to recognize His presence in every stage of life (good and bad). Try the Examen – spiritual exercise by St. Ignatius (see photo below for daily practice) to contemplate God’s presence in both the good and bad. The Examen helps us answer questions about where God is and how He operates, even when we are suffering.
• Reminds me of how people do not realize God created the supernatural AND the natural world – logically speaking, if He’s the creator then He only wants to be one with us. Do we have it in us to recognize His love and power? God will meet you where you are and fill your tank up the rest of the way, all you need to do is be open to it.
• What does our day look like when we give thanks to God – when we acknowledge HIM as The Giver versus something else or someone else?  Do we give God the credit?  If God is God, then nothing else can be higher. He is the only one powerful enough to freely Give with no strings attached. When other entities “give” there is always a price to pay (that is NOT love). When we accept gifts with strings attached, a part of our soul goes into hiding, or for some it is overtaken by things like pride, power, greed, evil (to read more about discernment of spirits, click Here.) When we are reunited with God, our soul is made whole again, feelings of “everything feels right in the world” take over (like long-lasting endorphins). This kind of peace is a FREE gift from God; you do not have to be “holier than thou” or “worthy” – that’s the beautiful, merciful truth about God. The Sacrament of Reconciliation/Confession keeps us in a state of being able to receive God, being open to Him. This sacrament heals us (physically and spiritually); it is a grace given by God during the sacrament. People often refer to Confession as a mini-excorcism and many come out of the confessional booth crying with tears of relief from incredible amounts of inner pain completely removed & healed. God’s love simply softens our hearts making us readily open to accept Him over ourselves.

Happiness is a part of JOY.  Joy is being filled with hope and love, even amidst the most tragic times of life.  We are saved from living in despair, when we have Joy. Joy allows us to embrace hope even when at our lowest point.  A life of fear is not a life of joy. A life of fear indicates a lack of trust in God or a lack of surrendering to something more powerful than ourselves.  Happiness is a byproduct of accepting Joy.  When we give thanks to God, we are filled with JOY.  This joy adds up and gets stronger and stronger as we move out of our own way more and more and yield to the paradox of a life of happiness and suffering, fueled by JOY. As in, the kind of suffering God allows is purely to grow stronger in union with Him. Suffering without God feels like actual hell on earth – that kind of suffering is self-inflicted from refusing to let God in. As in, He is not punishing us, we just are only operating at a human level, without His help.  Eventually, once we learn we need God, there is only one thing we serve and one thing we belong to.  Imagine two pools: one with God and one with No God.  Life with God (with Hope), versus life without God (life without Hope).  So then, is it so crazy to believe in Hope?  Or is it more human to have hope? To want it, to need it? We were made this way. That is why many are suffering today, they feel hopeless and refuse to turn to the source of ETERNAL hope. There is only one source for Hope, which comes from Joy, which comes from accepting suffering as a means to grow in more union with God.  If you tried to go through life without hope, tried to rely only on the numbers (which was the first half of my life) … even the numbers eventually reveal the one true source for long-lasting Hope. This kind of Hope is supernatural and supernaturally obtained as well. One eventually figures out that Hope is needed in order to be happy and that we were made to activate Hope so others could have it too.

Thank you God for creating an “out” for us, a way back to you. No matter how far I go, I can always come back to you and feel you in my midst. There is NOTHING that can keep me away from you – if I want to be with you I can be with you. Why would God have had to send a human into our world; both human and divine? Jesus was either a lunatic, an evil, ego-tripped person OR He was and is God (as Bishop Barron always points out). Dive into each option and see if the Giver is God or not. When we really contemplate Jesus (God entering our world as a human), we finally see how supernatural and powerful God is and the lengths He knew He had to go to bring us all back into loving unity with Him (salvation). People often think the word “salvation” refers to a condescending aspect of God rescuing us. It is the exact opposite – we already belonged to Him. In reuniting with Him, we simply find eternal peace and rest. We have to get over ourselves to fully embrace such a concept. I get it. I, too, mostly relied on my talents and what I had going for me in life. But that will only take you so far. Their is a cap on happiness when that is the only route you see or believe in. It takes some real time and pondering, but what else have you got to lose? If you can contemplate philosophy, you can contemplate Jesus as God. Is it that threatening to ponder?

God is the hopeful current we pray to when everything else has completely failed us. He’s that tiny glimmer of hope – but why do we have access to this glimmer of hope in the first place? Why is it there for us to dive into if we wish to in the first place? If God came into our world and conquered despair, then we have 100% access already within us to Hope, Joy and union with God. We do not need a burning bush anymore, a loud voice from the sky. None of that worked. God HAD TO cosmically come into our world and break the laws of death (hence, the resurrection). How rad is that?! This the most supreme, supernatural (yet tangible) evidence we have on Earth in human history and points to another realm we can all admit we feel and even see sometimes on a daily basis. When you dive into such a belief, your entire perspective permanently CHANGES. When we tap into such a belief, nothing in this world can ever take you down. Nothing can defeat you. Nothing can take away what you have already been GIVEN by God.

With Courageous Hope & Joy,
Diane

Come and Get Your Love by Red Bone

How we receive gifts says a lot about us.  You may not think it does, but it highlights the status of our hearts.  

When a child wakes up on his or her birthday, she is SO excited – unbelievably ecstatic!  The thrill, the energy that builds in her eyes is all looking forward to a day of surprises and joy!  From people coming to visit, to presents arriving at the door with each family or friend, to just the overall feeling of knowing she will be celebrated today.

Adults forget that it’s okay to bask in the receiving of gifts; that it’s okay to be worthy of such special treatment and overly excited about it.  Do any of these thoughts below resonate with you?

• I shouldn’t be too excited when someone gives me a gift.
• I feel like I am being humble by not acknowledging my appreciation for gifts.
• I shouldn’t get too excited about what people bring as gifts, versus why we are gathering together.
• It’s rude to open gifts at a party while people are still there.
• People shouldn’t need to hear “Thank you” or feel acknowledged for the gifts they give.
• I am particular about what kinds of gifts people give me, so I would rather just not ask for gifts.
• I would rather tell people what I want as gifts versus let people give me what they feel like giving me.
• I refuse to buy people gifts so that the focus is not on material things.
• When I receive a gift I don’t like, I make it known to the person who gave me the gift or I return it right away.
• When I receive gifts I do not prefer I blame that person for getting me such a gift.
• I force people to not purchase gifts – I don’t want to be a financial burden.
• I have a hard time receiving gifts because there are others in the world who are suffering or do not have the opportunity to receive gifts in the first place.
• We do not believe in gifts or any kind of positive reinforcement.

Humility with gift-giving and receiving gets a little confusing sometimes for adults. Many of us have been there with some of these thoughts that originally started out with good intentions and then somewhere along the way they turned into a negative fog, completely hindering the ability to receive people’s love and good intentions. Beyond that, sometimes these ideas we have of how to be more sensitive to materialism or privilege ends up distorting our own ability to honor the notion of spontaneity and surrender. Living a surrendered life, much like the heart of a child, we are then open to learning and receiving as we go versus trying to control what comes in and goes out with every interaction.

Children do not think twice about a gift.  They’re gifts!  They are free surprises.  They don’t know how much things cost in the world, they don’t even care where you got it from or how it got there.  They are simply filled with joy that you even thought to get them something and embrace the joy of receiving the gift immediately.  They tear it open, make a ridiculous mess – like a dog ripping through a box, they break through every nook and cranny of the present.

Aside from the material aspect of a gift at times, gifts come in many forms.  Sometimes it’s a thoughtful text, message, email, card, hug, compliment, conversation and so on.  Gifts are not always something bought for a person, sometimes they are made or hand-crafted.  Therefore, the source of the joy from a gift does not come from the item itself – it comes from the parts we cannot see or articulate at times.  It’s emotional, or an element of surprise, “Wow!  How did you know I wanted one of these!?” or “Oh my goodness, I can’t believe you would even think of me!”  

I like to think of Santa Claus and God in this way.  On Christmas, sometimes there a few things I really want and sometimes I do not know what I want.  Either way, God always comes through on Christmas with exactly what I needed or wanted.  Sometimes, exactly what I needed was a super sweet hand-written card from one of my nephews.  I cry when I open it and then put it in a place where I can see it everyday, reminding me of their pure love while reflecting on where my heart is at that moment. Their love helps keep my heart in the silly-fo-life range!  Other times, I ask for something and worry that it might be too big of an ask, but then somehow multiple gift cards come through to put toward the item or my husband finds a way to make it a reality.  The Holy Spirit works through gifts every time.

In this same way, we are supposed to have expectant hearts.  We are supposed to know that good things are coming all the time.  That God paves the way for us, even when we feel like the future or the present cannot be figured out. Which is true to some extent – it cannot be figured out by us nor does He want us to try to even figure it out all by ourselves (breeds anxiety, stress, worry, and so on) … Instead, when we turn to Him expecting gifts, we are surrendering to Him, so that HE can work it all out for us.  THAT process is His gift to us: when we completely rely on Him, it is the action of us moving out of the way and now He can finally gift us.  Each time we do this, we witness how He works in our lives and our hearts grow tremendously in faith. 

From this experience, our hearts realize how to trust – how to expect His love and guidance every time.

Children read right into this part of gift-giving and receiving.  Sure, they get carried away at some point and have to be taught to be grateful no matter the circumstance, but the initial open heart of a child expecting gifts and embracing them so easily is the part we want to focus on here.  It says a lot about their hearts.  It says a lot about how they receive goodness, automatically!

As adults, we’ve been exposed to so many different parts of the world by this point and sometimes we get curbed along the way, thinking we are not worthy or we are bad or we do not deserve such love and grace.  But as Catholics, we must remember, every single one of us is a sinner.  We are in the same boat as the murderer and the nun. I know that sounds nuts to some people, but there is relief in knowing we are ALL the underdog – you can literally only go UP!  Meaning, God is calling ALL of us.  His love is not reserved for people practicing faith; He is calling every single person on earth.  

If we know we are all sinners in this way, then we know we all need ongoing purification.  But how do we get purification?  How do we get our hearts in a position to embrace the Sacraments, accept patience, speak with grace, comfort a friend, live with humility?  We have to open our hearts.  We literally, open our heart to the idea of hope and help from God.

Therefore, our hearts have to be vulnerable all the time.  Our hearts have to be willing to open up, even just a smidge, to receive help from God – to receive His graces.  When we do this, we turn to Him and then we are able to see Him working in our lives: through our friends, teachers, parents, siblings, spouses, colleagues, co-workers, nature, in everything and everyone!  Ever so slightly we turn to Him, but that slight turn, is enough for Him to fill us up with EVERYTHING we need and truly desire.

There is a joy knowing that you are entitled to God’s gifts every single day.  No matter who you are!  God is for EVERYONE.  He knows your heart.  His love goes beyond political parties, faith organizations, titles, pedigrees, social status, etc.  He calls EVERYONE.  We wouldn’t have converts, Good Samaritans, and people growing deeper in their faith if this wasn’t true.  There are no boundaries for God’s love.  It is up to us to receive Him (like a gift) with an open heart.

You are entitled to His love, the way a child is entitled to receiving insane amounts of gifts when the whole family comes to her party.  No matter the circumstances, no matter the road blocks you think are in the way of God’s gifts, He is always giving you what you need or want.  The imaginary roadblocks are walls WE put up in thinking that we are not worthy or that it is wrong to be able to receive God’s gifts.

“Grace is a gift from God, but like any gift, it must be received, opened, and used.  Otherwise, the benefits that go along with such a gift are not realized.”

The Imitation of Mary:  Keys to Growth in Virtue and Grace
by Fr. Quan Tran 

This quote from Father Tran inspired this blog post. The first part of Fr. Tran’s message that triggered an immediate response in my heart was “it must be received, opened, and used.”  So many of us in the Catholic faith have lost the focus of our own hearts.  We are looking at the world and all the things we disagree with instead of where OUR OWN heart is with receiving God’s gifts in the first place.  It is our heart we need to be laser focused on today.  It is our heart that needs to be guided every single day.  In order to receive the guidance we are looking for, we have to be open to God changing it and teaching it on the fly.

So many people walk in and out of mass, but refuse to apply it – use the gifts.  They step out of mass and immediately start harping about politics or the things of the world they are frustrated with, without any intention of stepping into the trenches with these so-called sinners of the world.  In these moments, we are missing the whole point of taking what we receive and APPLYING it.  No application equals no grace and we need that grace to receive the courage to carry out what God asks us to do or be.

If we accept God’s gifts more often, and apply them, we will start to see a ripple effect of change, beauty and truth in our corners of the world.  

The second crucial part of Fr. Tran’s words is very apparent these days, “the benefits that go along with such a gift are not realized.”  Meaning, some of us do open the gifts received in prayer and let them sit on the shelf, doubting they are of any use to us.  Or worse, we are receiving gift after gift after gift and completely unaware, therefore the heart is in a state of ungratefulness.  When we are ungrateful, we are never satisfied.  When we are unsatisfied, we are always searching or trying to figure life out on our own, rather than letting God guide the way.  When we open our hearts, God gives us the courage and humility to do what He has asked us to do or be who He needs us to be.  Ungrateful hearts refuse to serve with humility.  They refuse to let God’s love into the places where they don’t want to see it; they know His power and they refuse to let Him change their lives.  They create a world of their own where they are always in charge.  Manipulation, narcissism, projection, using others, blaming others – all of that toxicity comes out of this type of closed heart and they run rampant today. 

This is a hard one to witness; it is a state of hell and often we get affected by people like this on a personal level.  Their closed heart is always able to find a scapegoat, usually someone in their close circle of family or friends.  These same people appear to get everything they ask for and take it all for granted. Sometimes life experiences are able to shake them through it, but often, these kinds of hearts refuse to acknowledge the opportune turning points in life and never come to realize the love waiting for them while hurting many along the way.  If you know the latter, then it is easier to pray for them and picture them one day opening up to the Lord’s love – for all our sakes!

We must trust that if we live with an open and vulnerable heart, always expecting gifts from the Lord, then our faith will grow and therefore our spheres of influence will grow too. 

Without an open heart, we cannot trust.  Without trust, we cannot have faith.  Without faith, who are we as Catholics or Christians?  Can we even call ourselves people of faith, without vulnerably receiving and applying the gifts from God?  

Ask yourself, where am I right now with receiving gifts?  Is it difficult for me to receive and accept gifts?  And do I do the same when God presents me with His guidance, instruction, grace, love, and courage?

With Joy,

Bloomified

Whole Lotta Love by Led Zeppelin

I used to be the kind of Catholic who couldn’t bravely admit my love – my unbearable fire of a love – for God.

Growing up in a family of mostly men, aside from my mom, the phrase, “There’s no crying in baseball,” was an absolute philosophy for living and believing. Not to mention, when you are the youngest in the family, and the only girl, there’s not a whole lotta opportunity to prove your love for faith is a legitimate testimony.

Don’t get me wrong, I had one of the best upbringings you could possibly have in the 90s. But as a person whose soul is on fire for the ways of love, and all things full of hope, it was hard to stand up to the masses and let my “freak flag” run wild for God when the world around me seemed to be saying this was an unpopular approach at an early age.

I’ve referenced this before, but one of my favorite movies of all time is Family Stone, mostly because Sarah Jessica Parker plays a completely unaware, yet-to-be dismantled human being (much of who we are before we face ourselves with God at the center of the process) who meets the cool and completely unhinged Luke Wilson, or Ben Stone, as he goes by in the movie.

Ben Stone shows her how you can be yourself without apology in life, but also, that the source of this lifestyle is your “freak flag”, that which we must not be afraid to fly wholeheartedly.

Counter to boldly being allowed to freely express my exuberant love and joy for faith and all things praise & worship, my family expressed our faith in other vulnerable ways. Being Mexican-Catholic for the most part, I grew up knowing about the more intimate parts of our faith, things many cradle Catholics just don’t grow up with unless culturally or tragically influenced. So in a sense, it was more that the specific way of praising God through modern-day praise and worship songs, was looked at as not carrying enough weight to express true devout faith or devotion. It was seen as surface level or presumptuous, or quite possibly not expressing our hearts’ most genuine craving for the Lord; that maybe praise needed to look holier or be more solemn or simply not have American Idol singers delivering this kind of devotion in mass.

Even though praise and worship was not my family’s jam, we adored Christ in other ways which seemed more innate or reverent, like the Rosary at any given time, or sincere prayer in private, daily mass when you can, the Sacraments every weekend, and acknowledging the lives of our family members who had past on and were now a part of the communion of saints who still assist us in our day-to-day lives when we need them most. Furthermore, Mary guarded the major hallway outside my room, and at my Grandma’s house right when you walked in the door you couldn’t help but notice the life-size Our Lady of Guadalupe waiting for your petitions to be heard. We were encouraged to know she’d hear our prayers and give her Son the list of our requests. We grew up knowing that it wasn’t crazy to completely believe those prayers were going to be answered in some shape or form.

Though these are stellar nuggets of faith given to me at a young age that which I am incredibly grateful for, none of them really point to simply praising and adoring Christ – like just saying to Him, “I see you and I love you and I am grateful for you.” YOU are the center of my life. Though we can do this in prayer, we can also do this in song with others present.

I remember coming back from a Confirmation retreat in high school, a time in which I was on the brink of going left or right in life. We had just come down the mountain, we were all at mass sitting in the front few pews and I was completely lit up with hope, love, affirmation, worthiness … all the things you need at that age. I was completely “on one” for God, wanting to sing all the songs and do all the hand-motions, only to realize I looked absolutely “stupid-freaking-ridiculous” to my family, a phrase we use when making fun of others or expressing that someone has taken it way too far.

I laugh at this story now because I genuinely agree to a certain extent about how ridiculous we can all look when we unveil just how much our hearts are on fire for God! It really is embarrassing on some level the first few times you open up and unleash this sort of God-meter with others around, because it’s kind of like sharing your most intimate thoughts about a person to others. It reminds me of talking about someone you love to people who do not want to hear it, and having to witness the look on their face when you unveil just how mushy and romantic you can be. Loving God publicly is a lot like that. It’s a whole lotta amazing feels that just looks stupid-freakin-ridiculous to everyone else on the outer rim of faith. But for you and those who are not afraid to let their “freak flag” fly, it does not look or feel stupid. It feels AMAZING, as in, “Why haven’t I been doing this all my life?”

I’ve psychoanalyzed a couple comparisons for myself that might put it all into perspective for you as well …

• If you can do yoga in public, you can get down with praise and worship.
• If you’ve ever done meditative stretching on the beach that looks like made up Tai Chi, then you can get down with praise and worship. (In fact, if you’ve ever done actual Tai Chi, then you can openly do praise and worship.)
• If you’ve ever karaoked (after a couple to a lot of drinks), you can get down with praise and worship. God’s love is the buzz that kicks in when you sing your heart out and participate in praise and worship.

So really … it all boils down to humility. If you are humble enough to put your heart on blast for all the world to see, then don’t worry, God will protect you from the onlookers and the naysayers and the haters. All you need to remember is that genuine praise and worship for the Lord comes from within YOUR heart, no matter what the song or chant is. Whether it’s in Latin, or it’s that contemporary Christian music you just want to sing along too, or the old school songs I grew up with in elementary Catholic school. When we praise in this way, God has your back beyond what the world can throw at you. The craving has to come out. Genuine love cannot be bottled up, it’s impossible. And when it does come out, it will take on its own form according to what your interior castle looks like, as Saint Teresa de Avila would call it.

 If you dance while praising and worshiping, awesome.  If you sing and open your hands up for the Holy Spirit to sink in, then great!  If the gift of tongues pours out of you because you just can't put a lid on the glory that God is doing in your heart, then let a rip!  

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve gotten softer – thank the Lord. And I’ve discovered this sweetness of my love for the Lord, that was there all along. Much credit can be given to my past of facing the demons of my life. In a nutshell, if you face your own brokenness, softness just comes with the territory.

To clarify, this is a softness, not a “softy” per se. The softening of our heart makes us humble and able to hear God’s wisdom clearly. It’s as if life and all the conversations or interactions you encounter slow down like they do in the Matrix, when Neo can preemptively dodge bullets as they are coming out of the chamber, giving him ample time to get in front of those moments and not necessarily react, but propose a more strategic move or path taken.

As I dive deeper into this more vulnerable side of my heart, I see there were stages of tapping into this joy that have come into fruition throughout the different chapters of life. It started with this blog actually. The fact that I started a platform where I would potentially “spill my guts” as my Dad would say, is in itself the most ridiculously, vulnerable move I could have made at the time. And to tell you the truth, it is harder now to write than it was back then. It is harder now because my heart has developed so many new layers (thanks be to God) that are just sometimes so difficult to share with the world out there. Then, there was the chapter in which I gave frequent talks and shared my story with various audiences within Catholic ministry, worked with the youth and built pathways for mentoring them in the secular and non-secular domains (some of which I still do today.)

However now, I’ve reached a new stage in this search for understanding my own heart and I’ve have had the chance to embrace it fully for just me. This sounds selfish, but after my own experiences of healing it was only natural that I felt compelled to share and help others. Whereas now that I am not in a state of healing old wounds, I have a moment to really soak it all up, then share the graces when called to.

For starters, I have finally found a love for the Book of Psalms! It seems for so long, I could not appreciate these profound yet simple versus just yet. They helped me through hard times, which might be why I did not associate them with joy or gratitude as much. I love the poetic yet strait forward gem drops that Psalms and all songs of praising the Lord convey. They seem to sing from the depths of my innermost chambers now, and miraculously align with my mornings before they even happen.

Every morning, I wake up and the first thing I do before getting to work on my computer is read the Book of Psalms, highlighting all the verses that speak to my heart in that moment. I allow for about 30 minutes of just straight up Psalms until my heart feels at rest. The kind of rest like when you’ve ran for miles and miles, and finally feel like you’ve exerted the energy you needed to. Except this kind of energy in Psalms is more of an expression of pure loving acknowledgement. It seems I will most likely finish the Book of Psalms within a couple weeks, since each morning is guided by the peace received versus a limit/goal to the chapters read. I never intended or thought I’d read Psalms straight through, but the benefits have framed my heart in a whole new way for the day that it is literally the only way I want to begin my day.

As I soak up more of my own heart for Jesus through Psalms, His love equips me to then give it away again perhaps in a much better suited way: His way. A cycle described best by Bishop Barron, “Your faith will grow only in the measure that you give it away.” The verses from Psalms each morning have motivated me to stay the path of making His love real and present for all who have been bit by the bug of love, transformation, awareness, realization, revelation, sincere seeking … all the things that eventually lead us to Christ. The thing is, most people who have been bitten, do not know that it is Christ. They might not even know what God’s love is. It is our job to reveal it in a way that only can be known to us in the moment, when the opportunity arises, with God’s wisdom at the forefront. Morning Psalms has created in me the courage to speak up in those moments and share or relate with someone who has curiously peeked at the Trailhead of Christ.

Immersing myself in an environment where opportunities to get to know Jesus will inevitably arise, has helped when it comes to diving into these other stages of the vulnerable interior castle of the heart. Being involved at our parish and saying yes to participate in ministry keeps us hip to whenever Adoration or Confession is available. It’s good to have both of these on hand, so that you can go to Jesus whenever and submit your heart to the softening process constantly. Over the past three years, I’ve made it my primary focus to recording my conversations with the Lord through prayer journaling and taking note of all the ways in which He steps into my life. Through Ignatian Contemplation, the Rosary, pure silence and listening to His voice, sitting with the Holy Spirit and in front of the Blessed Sacrament, God has just melted down all my walls making it that much easier to feel worthy of praising and adoring Him. My latest dive into the deeper waters of softening the heart has been through Encounter Ministries, where every class affirms the path God has called me on since the beginning.

And so, when I sat down to write this post, it makes sense that a “Whole Lotta Love” by Led Zeppelin came to mind, even with its treacherous musical break in the middle of the song. It has the necessary highs and lows and the intensity of Dante’s Inferno – of admitting to yourself where and when God has spoken to us directly like the burning bush, or when Jesus has entered into my soul and raised me off the ground when I needed Him most, or when the Holy Spirit filled my entire being with the courage and grace to deliver and be in the most contrasting of situations. This song’s melody wreaks of reminding you that embracing God’s love means admitting your love for Him first, really basking in it and embracing it without question; not being afraid to admit that we are worthy of His GOODNESS that feels uncontrollably vibrant and more real than anything possibly could in this life. “Whole Lotta Love” reminds me of the path it’s taken to realize that this life has a superficial veil covering the goodness God tries to speak and breathe into our life every single day, but that once we get a glimpse of what is behind this sheer veil, we then get to see Heaven on Earth and take part in it.

I love the quest, I love seeking His voice, I love listening to what He says – rebuke or guidance, it doesn’t matter – with complete acceptance enveloping my heart in all ways possible. Through this unending spark that craves God on this level, I have seen the miracles in not only my life but in those around me, and it is glorious! It brings me GREAT joy to see prayers answered for friends of mine who have longed for peace, healing, love, hope, community, second chances and all the things we pray for, but haven’t realized our friends are communing in prayer with us the whole time.

Thank you to the past, that broke me and made me want to see God face to face. Thank you for all the different forms of music and praise and chants that allow us to hear our sweet hearts adore Him and thank Him properly. Thank you for the beautiful vistas of life that come from enduring, persevering and believing that He is here in the first place.

Psalm 38: 16 “Lord, it is for you that I wait; O Lord, my God, you respond.”

You do respond, Lord. You responds, always. You respond in the most miraculous and glorious of ways, through everything you know has a hold on my heart. May the walls come down, and may I praise and give thanks all the days of my life.

French Romance by Benjamin Cambridge

There’s something heavenly about sitting in a room, with lots of light, planted next to a big bay window where you can see the grass tossing up into the air as the lawn mower goes back and forth.  Gazing out into the hills that surround your house, just knowing first-hand how big the world is out there, but that there is no need to completely figure it all out or rehash its detours.  Relaxing French music playing in the background, as if your life is a scene out of a whimsically, perfect Meryl Streep movie filled with ups, downs, character growth and triumph.

Having grown up with my mother watching love stories old and new, my life would no doubt become what I always thought it might be deep down … a movie.  And I mean that in the form of a slightly embarrassed, yet sincere confession for not just myself, but for us all.  In that, in many ways, each of our lives is a bit of a movie.  Life is full of climaxes, and plummeting moments.  Mundane and mediocre parts too.  But then, the rising and falling of action happens.  We find our fire within to face the battles of our own story plot.  There simply cannot be an end so hopeless or destructive to the main character when this movie is about US.  We know deep down when this movie is about us, that we have to get to that summit of what is our own beautiful ending.  And in life, it is up to us, to get ourselves to that blooming point where more can still be said about our life.  Another movie?  Why, yes, of course.

The movies keep coming out the more we invest in life!  I think that’s why I have always loved not just the romantic movies my mom and I cozy up to, but ALL movies, all stories, all plots, all books, novels, classics – old and new, plays, short stories, and so on.  I immediately fall in love with where the writer is going and how each character takes shape slowly over time in great detail.  We can all benefit from those universal truths and motifs embedded into the complex stories or characters’ lives.  Each character has something to teach us, model for us, or experience FOR us.  If we watch those movies over and over throughout life, or return to that favorite book, we find ourselves in the movie; a character we’ve been identifying with all along, a plot that sings the story of our own life’s stinging adventures.

“But the classics also speak of hope: the endurance of love; the need for heroes; unexpected graces; unanticipated comebacks; kindness amid hatred; the balm of forgiveness and the gentleness of charity; loyal friendship and ennobling faithfulness.  Classics speak with wit and wisdom, subtlety and shouting, about the fundamental vicissitudes of being human.  And that story never grows old.”

– Tod Warner, “Midnight Oil: musings since we last met” in the Evangelization & Culture Journal

As I sit next to the window, fondly remembering all my favorite characters, some I just couldn’t help but watch over and over until I could admit my own struggles to myself, I remember the ones I grew out of as well.  I may watch their movies still or read their books, but I am not caught up in their story as much anymore.  For myself, I realize that the waters of my life have finally calmed in such a beautiful way; a way I had always hoped for, and worked toward.  I see now that these still waters are more like an extremely clarifying mirror facing the heavens, allowing me to see, even if just for a moment, all its beauty – all its grace.  My movie-mind simultaneously wants to intervene and fears the mirror could suddenly get hit by a comet, shattering to pieces.

But, no.  For the first time, it is important to know that everyone and anyone who meets this mirror face-to-face, gets to finally rest and embrace it as a gift for as long as we get to.

The negative thoughts and mindless interventions that try to ruin these moments – the fear, the comets, the destructive surprises – I know now how to shine a light on them and call them out for what they are.  Instead of letting those thoughts spiral and take me away from this moment, I take a deep breath, and allow myself to enjoy the climaxes of my own instrumental measures within, that might have once made me wince with pain, yet now bring me great joy and all-enrapturing gratitude for this life I chose to endure, embrace and experience in every possible way.

I can smell all the flowers now.  I can hear all the birds.  I can let each piano note echo in my chest, once and for all.

It is in this blissful moment, that I replay the bloodshed of life that brought me to my knees.  I see it.  I remember it, and yet I am able to appreciate this heavenly moment despite what it has taken to get here. Perhaps, without the sacrifice and the pain, none of this would ever be felt, known and better yet, with lots of prayer understood.

Proverbs 17:22

A joyful heart is the health of the body, but a depressed spirit dries up the bones.

I have to believe that from pain and brutal sacrifice, we ALL resurrect.  Rephrase, we are all called to resurrect.  We are given the option to spring forth from the horrendous soil that we might be in, and still bloom – more beautifully than ever expected.  From darkness, we are for the first time, able to see the light.  From the thick of the woods, we listen for and follow the clues, we trust the rustle of the leaves, and find our way back to the main road.

For these painful, yet triumphant reasons, my entire being has embraced Life.  I have learned that HOPE actually is our happy ending to this movie of Life.  It’s an ending that comes about in life, more than once.  Cyclical, in a non-repetitive way, for each cycle of revelation and growth is a different experience – a new set of wings acquired – a new layer of petals and color blooming widely and courageously as we face the Sun.  Always growing, always craving to capture the essence of love, the meat of meaning, the maker of beauty.  And do we get to?  YES.  In small chunks, little doses, at a time.  Like bread crumbs on a trail, we find ourselves following the path with much more faith and trust, absolutely stronger, braver, wiser, more hopeful, more humble, and more graciously accepting of life’s encounters.

 

 

 

 

“In grappling with who we truly are, we will happen upon an otherworldly joy.  Pope Benedict XVI once reminded us, ‘The ways of the Lord are not easy, but we were not created for an easy life, but for great things, for goodness.”

-Tod Warner, “Midnight Oil: musings since we last met” in the Evangelization & Culture Journal

We must submit ourselves, pin ourselves down in these bay window, heavenly moments.  We must bask in the goodness that we ultimately gave into; all the relief, all the love at the core that has helped us get to this moment and the gratitude that floods our entire being as a result of wisdom gained.  We will never … a phrase to be thrown out the door like many other phrases or deceitful words of the kind:  I will never, You should never, I can’t ever … Just typing these phrases reminds us of the dark vortex that does exist out there.  This vortex has NO beginning, NO end, NO realness – just a labyrinth of lies that mean nothing.at.all.  It literally has NO meaning.  And yet, we choose to let it have meaning when we are in those fallen moments of despair.  We believe, momentarily, that the dark lies can take over the nucleus of our being.  That they can define us.  Therefore, we allow them to mislead us.

And in the end, in hindsight, that’s all it is: misleading.  Nothing more than that tiny little word. What a hardly, non-threatening word when we look at it all alone without its band of bullies, and yet it causes so much destruction when we are in the thick of the fog of the first fall into the vortex.

“All of the great masters of the Christian spiritual

tradition saw that we are able to love only inasmuch as we have received, as a grace, a share in the very life, energy, and nature of God.”

– Robert Barron, Centered: The Spirituality of Word on Fire p. 38

“It is only when we conform ourselves to the way of love, only when, in a high paradox, we contrive to empty out the ego, that we are filled.”

– Robert Barron, Centered: The Spirituality of Word on Fire p. 32

Life has its way of springing up signs all the time to discount all the horrific lies of this world.  As I drift away back into the French music lullabying my heart into the place I have finally reached mentally and soulfully, I am finally able to speak to Darkness to its face, and shut it down.  I pray, that these words will resonate with others out there, who are either approaching the summit, at the summit, descending, or climbing.  We are with you.

With prayer in my heart for anyone who faces the darkness today, I finally say to the face of darkness:  

You are incapable of winning.  You have absolutely no power over me, or anyone who is prayed for, because now I know who you are and what you are trying to do.  Now, I know how to get out from under your despicable illusion of control, and I will prayerfully protect every single other soul who falls down this supposed rabbit hole.  YOU end here.  YOU have lost.  WE WIN in the end.  We have ALREADY won.  And now, you are the one who is absolutely nothing; what you were supposed to be all along.  A monster under the bed.  A nightmare we wake up from.  Because this kind of light, this kind of hope, has no shut off switch.  This kind of light, will always be lit – FOR ALL.

Philippians 4: 6 – 7

Don’t worry about anything; instead pray about everything.  Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.  If you do this, you will experience God’s peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand.  His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

So, play the French music.  Write the words down like they are notes coming out of your heart and onto the page in measures of grace, courage, and faith.  Embrace the green meadows and the sprung flowers.  Close your eyes, and let the sun warm your face.  YOU are home.  You are HOME.  You ARE home.  Come on in. There is food, shelter, love and light here in this home, waiting for you.  Here, you can bloom.

“On the biblical reading, salvation, therefore, is a matter of the meeting of heaven and earth, so that God might reign as thoroughly here below as he does on high.”

– Robert Barron, Centered: The Spirituality of Word on Fire p. 95

With Prayer & Love,

Mrs. Walker

HIGH AND LOW by Empire of the Sun

This blog started as a way to free-write the revelations I was having while training for my first marathon, but as I’ve gotten older and healed beyond my past, I have a whole new appreciation for reflective writing.

All the time we’ve had at home during Covid has allowed me to completely relive and replay some of my most favorite times in life.  Ironically, most of these memories are the ones from taking that first step out of hell and recovering spiritually by the beach.

Throughout that time, I was suffering internally and working through a lot of truths that I had to admit to myself.  When you are suffering, you have nowhere to go but up, so there is this sense of being in your own world all of the time – you are, in fact, completely immune to everything around you because you are focused on putting yourself under the microscope, not others.

This leads to a lifestyle of total fearlessness.  You take risks easily because you have already faced death head on.  You cling to everything that is good and real because you have already learned what is wrong and fake.  Thus, you are in the process of resurrecting.  It truly does feel like a trip through Dante’s Inferno, as you experience each phase from Hell, Purgatory, and finally into Heaven: on Earth.

But the best part is, this person you eventually transform into – bloom into – stays with you forever.  You end up seeing everything so crystal clear, and no matter how clear it is, it doesn’t hurt you one bit.  For now, the truth feels amazing because you were searching for it all along, whether subconsciously or consciously.  The truth is just the truth – no feelings or disappointments attached; hence, you feel wiser instead of burdened by a realization.  There is no longer this sense of a “high” that can all of a sudden drop to a “low”.  You soon realize, the shoe will never drop (even when something bad actually does happen) because you are strengthened by a grace that you didn’t have before.  With the truth, there is only levels of HIGH and HIGHER.

This part of you, of accepting and listening to wisdom, develops more and more.  It becomes stronger than you could have ever imagined.  But unlike other summits in life, this feeling and mentality never leaves you.  It simply goes with you into every single stage of life, making you wiser, calmer, more loving, and patient, more aware and understanding.

I remember running to this song (the one that this post was written to) “High and Low” by Empire of the Sun back in the day when I was soft-sand training for beach volleyball season.   As I ran from Manhattan Beach Pier to Hermosa Pier and back, I felt this song rip open my heart and take me to a place of euphoria that was higher than any feeling I had ever had in life.  But unlike other highs in life, these kinds of breakthroughs transform your mind and life permanently.  These newfound truths that are revealed become embedded in every single thing you know – exactly like the effects of prayer, adoration, and long periods of spending time with God.  For me, running to this level and to this song, was like tapping into God’s living room and letting Him fill me up with everything I needed to know.

Just like they say, “God meets you where you are”, he meets me through the songs, the running, and the reflections.

I looked forward to running to the same songs over and over, like this one, in order to cultivate the love I have for God.  To this day, when I pray, I can “go there” quickly with or without the songs.  I had no idea it would be this natural of a thing to do, but now I am extremely grateful for this learned habit of turning to God fully.  It is the only thing that lets my heart expand to the greatest of measures.

I have used this form of transcending for everything in life: trauma, pain, joy, appreciation, relationships, frustration, and understanding.  And when Covid happened, I figured this would be the perfect opportunity to turn to God as much as possible once again, so that everyday could feel like the vibes of this song.  But more importantly, I decided to run to these songs again because just like everyone else, I feel for the world to the point where the empathy is painful.

I feel for the people who have endured death and pain during this time.  I feel for the kids who don’t have the resources they need for virtual school and for the families who bash teachers left and right.  I pray for the ignorance of our country and for those who are less considerate about the pandemic; acting like nothing is going on just because they are blessed to not have undergone a negative experience yet.  Each of these things weighs me down.  Makes me incredibly sad and left with helpless despair.  It’s good to acknowledge all of our wounds, and face them head on.  But after sitting with them for a long time and admitting that they are true, we then have to take action.

As I run, I work through these pains and frustrations.  I ask God, how can I take action?  What can “little me” do?  I give it all up to God as I yell mentally, and scream into the void of my head.  Then, right there, like a good friend who listens then takes time to respond, or an awesome movie that reveals relative truths at the perfect time in your life, He shows me what I am supposed to do and how I am supposed to feel … all the while my body is moving to the beat of the song, breathing in and out, running to this consistent pace.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Just like when I was recovering 10 years ago and had NO insurance for therapy, NO money, NO help … I had to think of something that would save me from the darkest parts of myself.  Bloomified was there for me.  That’s how it all started – I had to do SOMETHING.  I looked around at my resources, and all I had was God.  And guess what?  God is MORE than enough.  His abundance is unconditional and does not cease.

AND, He doesn’t cost a thing. #FREE

What’s even more beautiful about God?  The second you tap into Him, He is everywhere.  He comes to you in the ways that you will listen – in the ways that relate to you.  Whether it’s running, prayer, meditation, a really nice friend, crafts, nature, the ocean, water in general, the sun, music, going for long drives, family … you name it.  God is there.  Waiting for you to come home – rest – heal – listen – and B L O O M.

See you on the other side my loves!

All My Love,

Diane    #Bloomified

The Air That I Breathe by The Hollies

“Sometimes all I need is the air that I breathe
And to love you
All I need is the air that I breathe
Yes to love you
All I need is the air that I breathe” – The Hollies

Colossians 3:14

“And the most important piece of clothing you must wear is love.  Love is what binds us all together in perfect harmony.”

The more we pray and meditate, the more our world illuminates around us.  Clarity forges paths we were not able to see before.  Opportunities brighten that maybe were just in the darkness masked by our pride, self-doubt, or fear.  But this light of clarity comes from the fact that prayer and meditation opens up our hearts.  Our hearts become humble, understanding, loving, and willing to hear the messages meant for us to collect.

As prayer and meditation open the heart, it gives us the ability to know and love ourselves more deeply.  We quickly learn, that there are obstacles in life we need higher help with, therefore, we become aware of the things we cannot handle or are not capable of as humans.  For example, we’ve all had those moments when we just can’t take some problem in life, and so we humbly finally succumb to praying or meditating about these particular things.  We see, in that moment, of choosing to pray in the first place, that we need something more than ourselves to solve a problem.  This proves that we were not capable of solving this problem on our own without the higher help of being in a state of a softer heart, by which the softer heart is more able to listen to the wisdom needed to work your way through this particular problem in life.  The best part is, through prayer and meditation, we always receive an answer!  These answers come in the form of feelings of peace, grace, lightness, clarifying messages and sometimes actual visions of understanding because we are now in a better state of being able to see what we could not see before as a solution.

This “better state of being” is a state of LOVE.

Sometimes, when we feel that we are not receiving answers of clarity or rescue through prayer and meditation, it is because the layers of doubt, pride, pain, and skepticism are still standing in the way and they may be layered on pretty thick from all the years of having a closed up heart.  Heavier strategies of prayer and meditation are needed to remove this wall of fear and doubt preventing you from appreciating the wisdom you are receiving.  Heavier strategies include:

• Praying and Meditating (P&M) in nature
• P&M in Church when no one is around
• P&M with a candle or fresh flowers in solitude
• P&M with pictures or statues of Saints surrounding you, or with the Crucifix
• P&M with pictures of loved ones who have passed on or who are alive
• P&M with the Bible or spiritual assisting book of choice
• P&M with the Saints (reading about their lives or reading their journal translations and prayers)
• P&M with The Rosary
• P&M with calming music
• P&M while kneeling
• Service or volunteering in your community or for those in need
• Working with the less fortunate

For those of us who feel like we should not or do not have the time to pray and turn to meditation, maybe this reference from The Jesuit Guide to {Almost} Everything by Father James Martin, SJ will alter your perspective a little.  Father James Martin spells out,

“Resistance is often an invitation to pray or think more deeply about those feelings.  Why do I feel resistance?  Are you being called to be free of whatever holds you back from a deeper love of God?”

Once we break through the things that hold us back from praying and meditating, we are able to receive the relief of wisdom any time we need it in life.  Each time we pray or meditate it’s different.  Sometimes we receive short, quick messages.  Sometimes we need to take a lot of time to work through our problems.  Sometimes we are just in a state of joy, constantly being given the chance to see and appreciate the blessings in our lives.

Either way, all of these versions of praying and meditating are like little glimpses of heaven, where this kind of clarity and affirmation received makes us more loving in every aspect of our lives.  Through this love, prayer and meditation gives us the grace to be more humble, more understanding and it gives us the strength and humility to improve in the areas we truly want to improve.  It makes us better friends, co-workers, siblings, children, and so on.  It makes us lighter beings and overall more fun to be around.

In the book I have never been able to stop reading over and over again, Meditations with Teresa of Avila: A Journey into the Sacred, Megan Don goes deep into the relationship Saint Teresa had with God and discusses the result of her constant prayer and petition.  An uplifting quote from Megan Don’s translations, “We cannot fight reason with reason, she said; we can only fall into the realm of compassion — that deep place of understanding and love — for ourselves and for others.”

Whether you like it or not, prayer and meditation will create the ability to love yourself more, love others more, love and appreciate the blessings in your life, love the nature in your environment or motivate you to seek it, and most of all, love and forgive your enemies or those you have strained relationships with.

 

 

 

SPIDERWEBS by No Doubt

This morning was the first quiet morning I’ve ever experienced in California.  I am used to kids playing outside, people playing tennis till the wee hours of the night, skateboarders bombing residential smooth hills, cars leaving for work, gardeners cranking up their machines on a Saturday morning.  Having just lived on the East Coast, I almost thought it was a Snow Day because it was so quiet! I remember how tranquil those nights were before it would snow.  Someone once told me, “You will know when it’s about to snow the night before. You can almost smell it in the air.”  And she was right, except it affects all of your senses.  It’s quiet, you can taste and smell it, and you can see the brisk, clear-cold of the night ready to unveil layers of snow the next day. 

My mind immediately started reliving all the best times I had been “quarantined” during snow days with my friends and family.  We would plan our snow day quarantines out ahead of time too, so that we could have the best possible day together!  As a teacher this was my only chance to go to my favorite coffee shop at the time, Vigilante Coffee.  Which later, I would end up being a part of in a very special way.  If it weren’t for that Snow Day, I don’t know if I would have ever actually left teaching to pursue my dream of establishing a coffee bar one day.

Other times, my very in-the-know pal Colleen who lived in Virginia would call me up the night before and relay me the possible teacher schedule we were about to have.  “Look we’re about to get a two-hour delay and then a full snow day, so if you leave right now and take the green to the yellow line it will literally drop you off at my apartment.  It’s right next to the metro stop! You could be here before the snow hits and then we could go to the store and load up on all our fave junk foods and drinks!  Hurry up!”  I did exactly what she said so that we could be snowed in together making endless cocktails and eating terrible food while watching (can’t even remember, but it was probably) Dumb and Dumber followed by Love Actually or you know something chicks can watch while stuffing their face with puffy Cheetos and Vodka.

To this day, the Snow Day phenomenon was new to me.  I honestly didn’t know you could miss school? Not teach!!!! Aw man, it was the best of times.

You learn a lot about the people in your life when you are stuck in one house making crafts, or experimenting with new cooking recipes just because you know you’ve got 9 hours to figure it out (remember Colleen!? We learned how to clean shrimp that day ;).  

BUT REALLY, on a snow day, you learn a lot about:   

y o u r s e l f.

Reminiscing about these snow days then brought the reality, of how much as I would love for this to be an actual snow day experience, it is not.  My mind stays up at night thinking of all the people who need help right now.  Not just the people suffering because of the virus, but business owners, employees, and those who are not understanding how to be on lockdown – who don’t know how to be a family or how to reflect.

There is so much suffering going on in the world around us, our local communities.  There are a lot of unanswered questions out there right now.  And like snow days, even though we were on lockdown, we always knew that we’d eventually be going back to school or back to work in a few days, which is why we went to the extreme to have so much fun in the house while it lasted. 

But this time, we don’t know when the two-hour delay will lift, or more specifically when they will call us all back to school or to work.  It’s just unanswered at the moment.  We are purposely stopped in our tracks in order to give our own government some time to figure it all out.  We are forced to not work, wondering where the money will come from and wondering how our medical heroes will thrive.  

There are families, parents, children who have had and are actually sick from the virus.  And when there’s posts on Facebook or quick responses about snippets from the news, with a trillion people commenting a wide spectrum of ignorance, hope, and denial, you can see the deep rooted kind of pain going on in the world, that has been there all along. 

The pain of having to be aware of all the suffering going on in the world; do we ignore it or face it on a daily basis?

You see, normally, we have things that distract us.  We can work until we stop thinking.  We can go the gym and mentally figure it out per endorphins.  We can hang with our friends and family.  But this time, there is no distraction, or at least there are a lot less. 

Some of us have already submitted to the lockdown, and some of us are like a fish that just got hooked still trying to wail about uncontrollably.  Trying to find answers in every single news article.  Trying to stock up on unnecessary items that only hurts those around you rather than helps.  Trying to still get that specific kind of bacon you want from the store to where you incredulously go to 5 other grocery stores exposing yourself to that many more people.

This is not a time for the customized life we once had.  It’s that simple.  

This is not a time to have everything go our way like before.  It doesn’t mean the world has come to an end, but it does mean you might have to use a different kind of two-ply than you did about a week ago.

It is sad to see people lashing out about their routine being jacked or their nanny not being able to come over to take care of their kids.  This is not a time for that.  

This is a time to surrender, and let yourself accept that we must be a certain way for now.

It is a time to accept that we do not have all the answers, and that not having all the answers is okay.

And it’s a time to remember that if your routine is all you have to worry about, then that is one of the smallest problems in the world right now.  Be grateful.

Many people out there right now cannot pay their rent, cannot be there for their kids while their kids are not in school.  Many people, the same who have been suffering all along, are the ones at an even a greater loss right now.  And the ones who’ve been on top are pressed for the first time to make the choice to face what is going on, or find more ways to distract themselves.

The possible suffering for everyone right now, no matter who you are is right over that next wave.  It seems so close that we don’t know whether to dive under the wave or just let it crash down on us and see what we are made of.

I cannot help but reflect about the following:

• On a daily basis, why do I crave to help others?  Was I doing enough?  How will I change now and for the future?
• What was my motive for becoming a teacher, or wanting to work in small businesses?
• Did I accomplish the good I wanted to do in the world through both of these facets, and how much more can I do once things slowly return to normal?
• Will it be the same kind of normal?  Or will we all as a whole, be more reflective, more creative, more prepared to help others and help ourselves?
• Will everyone on a human level, think of others more frequently from now on?
• How do I not get angry about those around me who are not reflecting at all or don’t care to reflect even in a time of crisis?

I share these thoughts vulnerably with you because, I have had experiences in life where I was forced to answer these questions for myself and I see this trauma that is sweeping over our nation as a similar paralyzing scenario.  Like the self, we have two choices when trauma hits: to become stronger in empathy and compassion or to become more closed up in denial and distraction.

When a crisis happens:

When “things happen to us” our most superficial layer is stripped.  This layer, is actually who we have thought ourselves to be all along, which is why it hurts, why we try to hold onto it all so badly.  In times like this, you will get to peace and relief that much faster, if you let the superficial part of you go.  Some people call this “surrendering.”  If we do not surrender these superficial parts of ourselves, then we remain upset, anxious, and in panic mode.  Hence, we do not get to the answers in time enough to either help ourselves or help others around us.

I share this information not as slap on the wrist for us all, but because I have the same fears

and anxiety as anyone else and I have seen when my anxious or panic-driven decisions hurt others in the process.  In times of trauma, I have had better results of helping myself think clearly by surrendering.  Surrendering helps me be more creative as well, which paves the way for survival tactics and resourceful operations when we need them.  It helps me think of smart things to set up or prepare for during a crisis.  

We are simply now in a time where it feels like a zit being pressed to pop, where facing all these questions about ourselves is the actual popping of the zit.  Sure, it hurts for a second, but by popping it you will let out all the infection below – the stuff you need to get rid of.  Gross analogy, but if you don’t pop the zit, you will continue to panic and make impulsive decisions rather than helpful, thoughtful, and considerate decisions.

Now when we do not surrender, when we do not choose to face reflective questions for ourselves, we are like a baby being held by someone who loves us and yet we continue to flail about, crying and refusing to give in to the love, when we’ve got everything we need right in front of us.  

We ALL want to do more deep down, we want to help more, we feel helpless, we feel lost, we are pressed against the wall.  Some of us right now are in the position to help others and they are doing so – it’s beautiful.  It’s the truth of who these people are and have been all along, being revealed for all to see.  I can’t help but say how beautiful it is to see people helping others during a time like this.

I would like to trick my mind and just pretend it is a snow day. But it’s not.  It’s a lockdown on all of our lives.  So how will you handle it?  Are you trying to keep your life exactly the same so that you don’t have to change?  Are you worried because you can’t shop at your favorite mall?  Or are you already letting go, allowing yourself to bloom and therefore help others; be more aware as a human and as a walking heart?

When I was a teacher, we had been on lockdown for real shootings about 4 serious times.  And the first thought that went through my head every time, was how to get the kids safely in the room.  I always believed that if I got them into the room we’d be okay.  It wasn’t until the third shooting that took place right in front of the school yard, that I was forced to think beyond that one tactic.  I had to run all our kids up from recess, and up 3 flights of stairs.  The guy, meanwhile was flailing his gun and randomly shooting back at the cops.  This time, my thoughts changed in order of this sequence:

• Point and scream to where we are running to (the stairs)
• Stay back until each and every kid is running in the same direction
• Accept that you could be shot in the back because you cannot face the shooter – face the kids

And the coolest thing happened.  Once it became about others, I completely forgot about myself. 

A sense of grace and peace washed over me, accepting the fact that I could easily be shot in the back without ever knowing it was coming.  Every single kid made it to the stairs, huffing and puffing.  I remember not even being able to run because I wanted to make sure all the kids were rounded up in front of me to where I could see them.  We didn’t stop running, we didn’t look back.  We just ran and ran up the stairs, and pushing up a few kids as they started to get tired.  I didn’t care how serious this shooter was, or if he was even shooting in our direction.  You can’t think about “how in danger are we in this moment” and doubt it for any second if you want to survive.  You can only prepare for the worst, and face it to make decisions that will miraculously help others in the moment.

We got upstairs and I closed the doors and the blinds.  Made eye contact with the teacher next-door through the door to show that we were okay, and got every kid low on the floor.  We were safe. 

When you surrender and see the courage that you truly have inside, or the instinct that maybe you always doubted was there, you see that the situation in front of you starts to slow down.  You can react during terrible times with grace, understanding, wisdom, and intellect rather than panic and fear.  The virus is not a shooter on the loose, but our own fears are the shooter right now and we have to be real with ourselves in a time like this.  We have to prepare for the worst, even if it doesn’t feel like the worst.  Then, we can make smart, genuine, considerate decisions.  Then, we can take only what we need from the grocery store, or check up on our neighbors who are old and living alone.  Then, we can trust that everything will find its way of working out around us, even though it feels completely chaotic.

Right now, many are in a state of panic and fear, but if you play out that fear, if you allow yourself to see what you would do under terrible circumstances, you will make better choices in the present.  You start to reflect at a time when we must surrender to the rules around us for the sake of helping our nation.  You will start to see life in a way that quite possibly will change your perspective forever, and that is okay.

Rough times always bring about change. 

What kind of change will this event have on you?  What has it already inspired you to work on?  What kinds of ideas are you wanting to put out there in a positive way after this all subsides?

Just know, your truest and sweetest thoughts that are bringing peace to you now are the ones that will stick with you forever.  It is through the most painful of times that we bloom permanently in a way we cannot undo – for the better of the world.

 

 

Yours Truly,

Diane 

CONVENTIONS – WOODMASTER by Playgate

It’s true.  Happiness takes making risks in your life.  But they are not adrenaline-seeking risks like jumping out of plane, or jumping off a boat into the middle of the ocean (although, I accomplished the latter and it was incredible).  No.  Risk taking to achieve true happiness is only a risk because it is outside of your fearful norm.

We all have a bubble of a norm that we like to live in.

For me in the past, it was simply doing what I am great at:  teaching.  I knew since I was 6 what I loved to do and that I was going to be an amazing teacher.  Having both parents as educators helped a lot.  I got to hear the heroic stories of how they changed the lives of kids every single day.  I admired it.  I loved it.  And it felt SO good to do the same.

However, as I got older, I realized that I was meant for even more.  And that was weird to me.  I never thought you could get more than what you already set out to do.  It was scary to think that there was an entire life outside the four walls of my perfectly, successful little classroom.  I never thought there could be anything I would love more either!?  And that was because of my norm bubble – the fact that I had never even dreamed of wanting to do anything else in this life, but teach.

Teaching led me to the next part of the dream, where the dream is simply living life to my ultimate potential.  Teaching led me to Coffee.  or “CWOFFEE!” if you’re an old east coasting gem.  Coffee allowed me to use my teacher skills in a whole new way and see that the classroom exists everywhere you go.  It’s in a business, it’s in your family, it’s in yourself for goodness sake.

And so, I dared to jump out of my norm.  For me, THAT was my skydiving moment.  That was my huge risk.  I feel it necessary to mention that it was a well thought out risk too.  I had done research on coffee shops and knew enough to begin working in one.  Coffee became a realistic part of my life once I accepted that I was passionate about it, and would do anything to learn more.  This drive and passion, led me to working for the best Roasting Company I will ever know.  Because of the experience I gain

ed from this company and the mentors within it, as well as the openness on my end to say yes to every opportunity within the industry, the coffee life became an attainable goal the way teaching had become in my early years of studying and practicing it every single day.

However, in order to be brave enough to make this decision and guide my work ethic to understand that I would do anything to pursue this goal, I had to write, run, read, be in nature and ultimately know myself inside and out.

I’d say this process happens to anyone who has taken a big leap in life.  In fact, it wasn’t the first time I had to take a giant leap.  If you have read The Backstory of my blog, then you know how it all started.  I had to get divorced to finally understand who I was and am.  And how did I do it?  Without being able to go to therapy because I was laid off at the time and not being able to turn to family, because I was beside myself, I had to create a routine that would help me understand the hell-hole I was in and bravely rip apart my life to fully move forward.  Sounds easy when you put it in a paragraph, but no, it was insurmountable at the time.  It was actual and literal hell at first.

Slowly, as I hacked away at my life, one prayer at time, one journal entry at a time, one soul-seeking moment of humility at a time, I found the truest nuggets of my existence.  And ever since then, I have only played this game of life according to those nuggets of truth.

I uncovered an immense amount of information about who I was and who I wanted to be during those years of healing and understanding.  As I made these discoveries, I submitted myself to everything GOOD I knew in this world.  The beach.  Nature overall.  Prayer.  Deep meditation.  Service and volunteering.  Teaching, with the goal of being the best I could ever be.  Running marathons (in which, I used to HATE running).  and WRITING (even though, I never cared much for it until I was suffering).

Writing, above all things, was the world where I could purge and let go of every lie I told myself, completely, while also affirming and solidifying all I had finally understood: about life and about myself.

Writing, I have come to know is the ultimate culminating factor to the Daily Bloomified routine.  After running for 30 minutes (any cardio for 30 minutes) and praying/meditating for 30 minutes, writing is the home for all of the truths discovered.  Being the last step in the process, it is meant to be last.

It must be last as it is the night cap to everything you have discovered and faced throughout the day.  If you choose to face yourself brutally and honestly, then you will have much to write about, much to confirm for yourself.  Writing is like a mirror though.  It will show you exactly what you’ve uncovered and will officially sort out what is true and what is not.

You will not be able to write BS.  Trust me.

Your fingers, will not let you.

Writing is more thought out than speaking.  Though speaking is bold, writing unleashes what you subconsciously know to be true behind every experience you’ve ever had.  Those truest, deepest discoveries come through and run through the sifter of your heart as they fall out of your fingers when typing or your hand when writing with a pen/pencil.

Sometimes, when I know I have something to convey to myself as a truth, but know that it needs a deeper connection of total submission to my thoughts, I choose to handwrite only.  Because of this notion, when I write in my journal I usually handwrite prayers or concluding thoughts versus rants or purges.

When I type, it’s usually because I am pulling together many truths under one major focus or I am rapidly purging every single negative thought out of my system, like the suggested method of Morning Pages in Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way.

Use whichever medium of writing suits you for that day or that moment.

When I am super sad or cannot quite explain the joy radiating through my veins, I write poetry.  Usually, a poem is able to express my innermost emotions or big realizations better than a paragraph or blog post.  Poetry days seem to be either the hardest day or the best day for me.  Just depends on you; we are all different.

I cannot express how important writing is, except to mention that every single book I’ve ever read on self-work or pursuing the most you can out of life, stresses writing as a major component for ultimate self-discovery.

Even right now, as I read Matthew Kelly’s Resisting Happiness, I find a beautiful affirmation of my dear Daily Bloomified routine.  He so simplistically explains in Chapter 15, “Falling in Love” that even after all the great schools he attended, it was his spiritual awakening that inspired him to love learning.  He then states very boldly in his book, “Wherever you find excellence, you find continuous learners.  They go hand in hand.  Wherever you find that continuous learning is missing, you find mediocrity.”

He is completely right.  Wouldn’t you think you’d want to be a continuous learner of your own life, your own being?

He then wrote out toward the end of the chapter, the few commitments he wanted to maintain to achieve being a constant learner and lover of his own life:  praying, exercising, reading, and writing every day.

If we are striving for excellence, for true understanding, for complete authenticity then yes, it takes work, time, and a devotion to the self.

A million things will want to get in the way of 30 minutes of cardio, 30 minutes of prayer/meditation and 30 minutes of writing.  But when you look at it, that’s 1 hour and 30 minutes of YOUR DAY.

I have found, it is completely worth it, to sacrifice 1 hour and 30 minutes for myself.  

I know that if you are reading this, you are already a continuous learner.  And I know that if you are reading this, Daily  Bloomified will serve you well.  You are willing to uncover truths, you are willing to love yourself, you are willing to take risks that are in the direction of your deepest callings.  Let it all be then as it is, and just, enjoy it!

With Love & Gratitude,

Diane Contreras